Nowhere Fast
by CoGDork
Summary: My life was boring and lonely. Now I almost wish it still was. Almost. MALE self-insert with no reincarnation! [ABANDONED]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** _ **Self-insert fics are somewhat of a stigma among most "serious" fanfic writers. I have tried to be one of those, but the struggle to do a good fanfic is tiring sometimes. Then I suddenly hit on an idea: why try at all? Maybe the reason I have difficulty writing is because I'm forcing myself to conform to rules rather than just doing whatever the heck I want. Well, right now, I want to do a gary-stufest self-insert of Naruto... with a MALE character, and NO reincarnation! Yes, shocking, isn't it? It's almost as if people are allergic to male non-reincarnation SI Naruto fics, there are so few. So here it goes. Don't blame me for gary-stuness. Okay, yeah, you can blame me for that, since I'm the one writing. But you've been warned.**_

 _ **Oh, and I own NOTHING of Naruto, save for the self-insert. Now shoo, copyright hounds! Leave me to my pathetic self-indulgence!**_

* * *

My life right now is interesting, to say the least. Ninjas, fighting, ninjas, ramen, ninjas, hot girls, and more ninjas. And surprise, surprise, I'm actually doing pretty well at it (read: "not dead just yet"). Now, if you had told me this would be my life before I got into all of this mess, I would have smiled awkwardly, nodded, then ran the hell away before I caught whatever sickness you had that scrambled your brain so badly. Mostly because, before all of this? My life was headed one place, and one place only: nowhere.

Okay, so my name is Casey Kendall. Or, it was. But we'll get to that later. Anyway, my life wasn't TERRIBLE by any standards—I was upper-middle class, reasonably smart, had good parents, pets, video games, etc. On the other hand, I was nearly always lonely. I'm mildly autistic, which in kid-speak tends to translate to "hey, a weird kid, let's mock him when we're not ignoring him altogether". This continued on through High School. And just when I thought, "hey, I'm out of school, I can learn to drive and then get a job and get my own place and I'll be GOING PLACES, BIATCH!1!", the stupid economy had to ruin it all.

No time to learn to drive, since my parents were always working. No way to get a job without a ride (living in the suburbs with no public transit or sidewalks doesn't work out well if you don't own a car), and that's when there's work to be had at all. No money to move out on my own. I still had games, comics, TV, and that kind of stuff, but again, no friends and no job made all that seem pointless. All I had was free time... and it meant nothing without anyone to share it with, or any work to feel relief from. And once I hit thirty, with no change, it hit me: I was stuck. Probably for good. No independence, no dreams, no means of achieving either.

Then, a hole in the world opened up, and I fell through.

Into the universe of an anime I kinda sorta used to watch before I found other stuff that I liked a little better. Yeah.

Basically, I was walking around the neighborhood when a storm came out of nowhere. One second, sunny with no clouds, the next, I'm standing in the middle of a storm that could scare your average hurricane away with a mean glare.

"SHIT! Where the fuck did this come from?!"

Yup, that was me. I curse fairly liberally when trouble pops up, so you can expect a lot more where that came from. Then, well, remember that thing I mentioned about the hole in the world? Yeah, lightning struck the ground RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Like, inches from where I stood. And where it hit, a big glowy circle opened up in the ground. And like the clumsy jackass I was, I panicked and fell right into it.

* * *

I woke up hurting. And by hurting, I mean "fuck fuck what the fuck how many bones did I break on that fall." To my surprise, I hadn't actually broken anything. Then I noticed something was out of place—namely, me. The street I was walking on was GONE, replaced by thick forests with super-big trees and a small creek nearby.

"This has got to be a dream... wait... why do I sound funny? And since when did I speak Japanese?"

The latter thought didn't replace the former for long—especially once I noticed my clothes were baggy as hell. After a few moments of confusion, I figured out what happened. It was obvious, really; my voice had jumped up a couple of octaves, and my clothes were too big for me. Yeah, I was somehow a kid again. Just how young of a kid was the real question. Fortunately, the aforementioned creek worked well enough as far as mirrors go. And what do you know? Roughly five years old.

"Holy crap. Okay, seriously, what's with the fucking Japanese?"

Yup, back to that question. Now, before this all happened, I was your average pasty whiter-than-cornbread American. I spoke a couple of dead languages (yay for history/linguistics majors), but I didn't speak a hint of Japanese save for a couple words here and there that I picked up from anime and manga. But here I was, speaking it like a native. And understanding it fine. Upon a brief inspection, I noticed a couple of other physical differences that I hadn't noticed before.

Before I fell, my legs were inwardly bowlegged all to hell due to super-high arches in my feet screwing up my posture. I also had slight swayback, though nothing severe. I've had both problems about as long as I've been alive. But suddenly, my feet, legs, and back were perfectly normal and healthy—at least as far as five-year-olds go.

Where was I? Why did I physically de-age? Why did my legs and back suddenly fix themselves? And how come I can speak and understand Japanese as if I'd been speaking it my whole life? All these questions kept adding up, and I didn't like it one bit. Especially the part where I'm a five-year-old kid, buck naked in the woods with no one in sight. Modesty aside, I didn't feel like staying put at the moment; I needed to find someone, anyone to help me. After a few minutes of running through the woods, though, I came across a pretty big clue as to what had happened to me.

A big wall. A massive gate. With Japanese hiragana characters on it. There was only one place I had ever seen anything like it.

"Holy shit, I'm in Naruto."

No, scratch that.

"Holy shit, I'm in Naruto and I'm fucking NUDE!"

Yeah, I was lucky no one heard that considering how loudly I shouted. Before anyone could find me, I retreated back into the woods to give myself some time to mull over the problems at hand.

"Okay, pro/con time. Pros: Naruto is one of those fictional universes where literally everyone has the potential to be a badass, given adequate training. Con: Naruto is a very unstable and VIOLENT fictional universe with no guarantee that being a badass will save you from stabby death. Pro: I'm a kid, but I still know a lot of stuff, so I have a pretty good head start over other kids in the learning department. Con: I'm a kid, and that means I have to live through all the ostracism and stress of school again. Pro: This is a whole new world, a new life, where I could conceivably do some pretty awesome things so long as I get started early and train. Con..."

That's when the biggest con of all hit me like a freight train: I'm probably never going to go home. I'm never going to see my mom and dad again. Not my brother, not my grandmother, not even my crazy extended family. I was never going to be able to talk to them or see them. They'd think I was dead, they'd mourn me, and I wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it. At first, it was just a small tear, but it wasn't long before the weight of it all really sunk in, leaving me a sobbing wreck.

Evidently, my crying was louder than I thought, because it didn't take long for a ninja to find me curled up at the foot of a tree. No one I recognized, but at the very least he seemed to be one of the nicer ones, because he immediately took off his jacket, wrapped it around me, and picked me up.

"Hey, shh... it's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you..."

Despite the whole "being talked down to like a little kid because technically, you are, even if you have an adult mind" thing, the tone of his voice did help calm me down a little.

"What're ya doing out here all alone, kiddo?"

 _Okay, think fast. Lies of omission are a little easier to fake than outright fibbing, so..._

"I... I d-dunno... I'm l-lost..."

Technically true on both counts, but still stretching it. Thankfully he bought it. Unfortunately, the next question was tougher:

"What's your name? Where are your parents?"

Yeah, this was one of those moments where most people would panic. Fortunately, I had three things going for me: one, tears aside the panic phase was done with, so I could think straight. Two, I had an education in linguistics before my sudden fluency in Japanese. Three, I was always good at thinking fast. In case you're curious, my thought processes were:

 _Oh fuck. Okay, okay, I'm gonna need a Japanese name. But Japanese names are based around kanji, so there's a lot more inherent meaning in names than in English, so I'm going to need one that means something. Let's see, take my real name and break down the etymology, then translate that to the closest equivalent Japanese words, cross-reference with common names..._

 _Casey = descended from an Irish Gaelic surname meaning "vigilant" or "watchful". "Keiji" is occasionally spelled with kanji that can be interpreted together as meaning "governs with discretion/observant leader", depending on how loose you translate, so close enough. Bonus, Keiji sounds kind of like Casey._

 _Kendall = from Old Norse kelda, meaning "a well or spring", dalr, meaning "valley". Don't know any good Japanese names involving the word for a well, but if I cheat I can just use the other meaning of the word "spring", as in the season, which results in "haru". The Japanese word for "valley" can be pronounced "tani". Put them together, translate to Japanese, you get "Harutani", which I'm fairly sure I've heard as a family name in anime before. Okay, tick-tock, he's gonna get suspicious if I don't answer right away._

"H-harutani Keiji..."

 _Suck it, people who said linguistics was a useless course._

"Alright Keiji, where are your parents?"

"They're... g-gone..."

Another lie of omission that my rescuer bought completely. I was on a roll, considering I still couldn't stop crying.

 _Hey, I might make it as a ninja with that skill. Hopefully, I'll get adopted by some local badass who can train me and-_

"Let's get you to the orphanage."

 _Well, shit._

* * *

 _ **Just in case you're wondering, yes, I have some education in linguistics and can speak a little bit of a couple of older Nordic/Germanic languages. The Japanese was totally googled, though.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** _ **Well, I'm on a roll here. No more than a few hours since the story is posted and already more of an urge to write than I've had in ages. The blatant wish fulfillment therapy is working! Now if I can just figure out how to not suck...**_

 _ **No, I don't own Naruto. If I did, I wouldn't have let Sasuke off so easy, rabid fangirl hate or no. On second thought, I'll leave him alone, I'm not suicidal.**_

* * *

Okay, so seeing a massive ninja city straight out of an anime in person more than made up for the humiliation of being carried. Seriously, what was Kishimoto smoking when he came up with the designs for this city? Because there are plenty of architects around the world who ought to start smoking it too! And that's before you get to Mount Ninjamore. I know, that's not what it's called, but it's an apt comparison.

What strikes me most, though, is the people. They don't dress that differently from modern people, save for a few differences here and there, but that's not what makes them interesting. What's interesting is the knowledge that, if shit went south, that lady washing her clothes and the old dude calmly reading a book could probably make bad people dead very fast. Not as fast as the main characters, of course, but still. It's almost like one of those ancient Greek city-states, minus the misogyny. Everyone's deputized, armed, and ready to kick your ass to kingdom come and back again should you threaten their city. Also, military academy for kids.

That last part gave me some mental pause, however. This was a world in which children were trained to be fighting machines from a very early age. By fourteen, they're lethal. Is that something I would be capable of? I know that if I'm going to live in this world, I'm going to HAVE to do SOME fighting, but the rest of it...

After some walking, I found myself being carried through the doors of a fairly large building with the word "orphanage" on the front. It's weird how easily and nonchalantly I'm reading Japanese now.

"Hey, Mariko-chan. Got a package for ya."

 _Heh. He said package._

Well, good to know being shrunk down hasn't made me any less mature than I started out. And look, the lady behind the desk seems to share that sense of humor, judging by her chuckle, blush, and quick attempt to silence herself lest she corrupt my youthful ears. Too late for that, lady.

"Well, I'm sure I didn't order you, little one."

 _Yeah, yeah, adorable five-year-old kid is adorable._

It was then she noticed the fact that under the borrowed jacket, I was completely nude. And covered in dirt from the woods. The worry in her voice provided at least a little distraction from the embarrassment of public nudity.

"Where did you find him? How did he get like this-"

"He was all alone in the forest outside the village, crying. Based on his appearance, he must have been wandering around out there for a day or so now, and from what little he said, I don't think his parents are coming for him..."

 _Wait, a day or so? I just got here! What gives?_

As the two concerned adults talked, I decided to file that revelation away for the time being. I knew it had to have something to do with the how and why of my current situation, but it would have to wait until I got settled into this life enough that I could properly investigate. Five-year-olds don't generally have the run of the village, I bet.

"Well, I better get back out on patrol. Take care, kiddo. Maybe I'll check up on ya later, huh?" The ninja said with a warm smile, handing me over to the receptionist before vanishing in front of my eyes.

 _Forget checking up on me, adopt me and teach me to do that shit!_

The lady—Mariko—took me to get cleaned up and dressed. For an orphanage, the place wasn't actually that bad; plenty of room, clean beds, good-smelling food, and warm baths. For a moment, I thought I might actually like living here.

Then I saw him.

He was crying over a broken toy that a couple of kids stomped on; it didn't help that said kids were laughing and jeering at him to boot. I may not have had things anywhere near as bad as him, but I knew what it was like to be picked on for being different. I turned and looked at Mariko... who didn't even react. Mariko, who looked so genuinely concerned for my well-being, could not have cared less for the kid who would one day be the most important person in the village. But this wasn't the cruel hatred of the kids who were just taught by example to hate Naruto. I could tell right away that Mariko wasn't the hating type. No, this was fear, pure and simple. I know that half the reason Naruto grew into such a caring person was because he understood what it meant to be hated, but still, I couldn't stand and watch.

 _Might as well get started on the whole fighting thing. Here I come, motherfu-_

I started to run towards the mean kids, but I clearly wasn't yet used to this little body, because instead of the DYNAMIC ENTRY I had planned—and boy, it would've put Guy to shame—I tripped over my own feet and slammed face-first into the ground. Ta-daa, so much for the future ninja. But what surprised me more was what I did next: I started crying. This body was obviously affecting my emotional state; I had the knowledge of an adult, but the brain chemistry of a child. Which translated to, "if hurt, cry your eyes out and hope someone helps." I expected Mariko to help... but instead found myself looking up at Uzumaki Fucking Naruto.

"Hey, are you okay?"

 _Am_ I _okay? What about_ you _?_

Naruto wasn't crying anymore. Heck, if I hadn't actually seen it happen I would never have guessed he had been crying at all. This kid was being picked on by half the village, and neglected by the rest, alone since he could remember, and yet all I had to do was trip, and he hurries to make sure I'm not hurt. Now I know why he ended up getting so many loyal friends over the course of the series—I mean, I had seen his selflessness on the show, but seeing it firsthand is something else entirely.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. I just fell is all... thanks, I guess?"

 _I guess?! SHUT UP, AUTISTIC ME, I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR AWKWARDNESS THE FIRST TIME AROUND!_

That thought crossed my mind before I remembered who I was talking to. Naruto made my awkwardness look entirely normal. Huh, wonder if he'd be somewhere on the spectrum in my world... In any case, he smiled one of those toothy little kid smiles, the kind that new dads like to take pictures of and shove in people's faces. "Don't mention it! Hey, what's your name?"

Yup, he definitely has the short attention span.

"Harutani Keiji..."

I didn't think simply saying one's name would bring a smile to anyone else's face, let alone the huge grin it brought out in him. It really struck home just how lonely he was—just telling him my name was more of an acknowledgment of his existence than he had known for most of his life up till this point.

"Keiji, huh? Well, I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm gonna be Hokage one day! Wanna be friends?"

 _Kid, the only thing stopping me from geeking out at what you just said is the fact that I have slightly more self-control than you._

"Aah! Uh, I mean, okay! Sure!"

Sucky as this day started out, it ended on a high note after that. I'd say it's nice to not go through my childhood alone this time, but that would be doing Naruto a huge disservice; he went through so much worse than I did, and he still came out a good guy. And looking back, I'm fairly certain I'm better for knowing him.

* * *

The years went by way too slowly for my tastes. Surprisingly, it wasn't hard acting like a kid again—I was sure that the toys and picture books would bore me to death, but evidently "easily entertained" is encoded into the brain of every child, regardless of intelligence. What really irritated me were the little things that I missed from my old world. Sure, they had video games here, but it was all BARELY 8-bit; no internet existed here, and TV was considered a luxury. But the most horrifying thing of all was that, in this universe, there was no such thing as rock. Hell, they didn't even have the blues!

I apparently went into a long period of denial on that last part, because one morning three years later, I was still fiddling with the radio dial in vain.

 _How can these people survive without Robert Johnson or John Lee Hooker? Note to self: learn how to play an instrument, then teach these backwater philistines some culture._

"KEIJI-NII! IT'S TODAY, IT'S TODAY WAKEUPNOWIT'STODAY!"

The Uzumaki alarm clock, ladies and gentlemen. There's a reason no one ever used the rooms next to, directly above, or directly below his. It involves hearing loss and bleeding from the ears. Unless you build up a tolerance, which was the unfortunate price of being his brother. Yes, you read correctly. The kid had upgraded me from "stranger" to "best friend" within seconds of meeting me for the first time, then not two months later from "best friend" to "brother". Naruto worked fast like that.

"I'm up, I'm up already!"

 _Okay, what was today again? Dammit, the blues are my coffee and I'm stuck with decaf! Oh, wait..._

"Oh, that's right, the academy! HOLY CRAP, THE ACADEMY!"

Yes, I was almost-but-not-quite as excited about beginning my journey towards being a badass as Naruto.

Best. Eighth birthday present. Ever.

"Ohmanohmanohmanwhatdoyouthinkwe'lllearnfirst,maybesummons,orgenjustu,or-"

"Naru-nii, you're doing that thing where you talk too fast."

"Oh, sorry, Keiji-nii..."

Yes, I picked that suffix thing up from him. The hyperactive little chipmunk insisted. It was weird at first, but after three years, calling him that just started seeming natural. Sadly, I was still the only one who would hang out with him; believe me, I tried to help, but eventually people started to ignore me, too. It was guilt by association in its cruelest form. That bond carried the both of us through the orphanage years, but considering that most of the future rookie nine would be at the academy too, I suspected things would get really interesting soon. I was right.

Fuck me, I was _way_ too right. At least I wouldn't go through it alone. And this time, if I had anything to say about it, neither would Naruto.

* * *

 _ **Hey, don't knock classic blues legends. There's a reason the Stones AND Eric Clapton covered "Love in Vain".**_

 _ **Seriously though, speak ill of Johnson or Hooker and I will smite you for your heresy.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** _ **Wow, I can't believe how fast I've gotten follows for this. I had no clue this many people were going to be interested in anything I wrote! I'm insanely flattered!**_

 _ **I do not own Naruto. If I did, I would be living in a mansion somewhere tropical.**_

* * *

Out of all the kids entering the academy, I'm fairly certain none of them were anywhere near as excited about learning ninjutsu as Naruto and me. Our reasons were different, though: for Naruto, it was a chance to make a name for himself and stop being ignored. For me, it was about doing something with my life for once. That, and being a ninja would probably help me figure out how I got here.

Now, don't get me wrong, I had zero problem with this new world. Hell, I was grateful to have this opportunity—there really wasn't anything going for me in my old one. Even so, I had questions nagging at me about the whole thing, and even three years after coming here they wouldn't go away. I had long ago taken to writing down anything I could learn about my situation in a secret journal I kept with me at all times, just in case I discovered anything new. At the moment, the list was this:

* Lightning storm causing a hole in space-time

* Age regressed to five-year old

* Physical deformities gone, and

* Somehow I existed here at least a day before I came here

That was all I had figured out, and that was all around the same time I had arrived in this world. The last item on the list worried me, but I wasn't sure why; my working theory was that I somehow got switched with an alternate version of myself, but it wouldn't explain the age regression. And that still left the question of HOW. The worry of some other version of me running around my world weirded me out—not that I would be able to do anything about it. In any case, at the moment I was more interested in having the Third Hokage stop speaking and let me get to ninja-ing. Ironic, considering he was one of my favorite characters.

 _'wonderful opportunity, honor of Konoha,' blah blah blah I WANNA LEARN TO HOW TO BE A NINJA!_

"How long is jii-san gonna talk? I wanna learn how to be a ninja!"

"Shh! Naru-nii, don't say that kind of thing out loud! You wanna get us in trouble on our first day?"

"I can't help it, Keiji-nii! I hate just standing around doing nothing—hey, who's the girl? She's cute!"

 _The Uzumaki attention span strikes againokay, yeah, that's Sakura. That didn't take long... who else is here?_

I tried not to geek out too much at seeing another member of the rookie nine in the crowd, but it wasn't easy. Especially since Sakura DID embody adorable. Not that Naruto had a chance in hell, considering the storyline of the anime and the fact that a certain emo was standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. Holy shit, it's Sasuke.

 _Yeah, she totally picked that spot for the view. Naruto isn't ogling her nearly as much as she's ogling Mr. Broody._

The Third finally stopped his speech, at which point we all filed into our classrooms. And what do you know, Naruto and I just so happened to be in the same class as the other main characters! It took everything I had to not squee over that—especially since Tenten, one of my personal favorite characters, was seated not far from me.

The teacher gave us a short introduction to what we would be doing over the course of our first term before jumping into the history of the world. Naruto fell asleep pretty quickly, but I barely noticed because I was too busy listening to every word. History had always been a favorite course of mine, and the idea of learning the history of an entire different world excited me. However, as the day went on, I began to follow Naruto's example as it was clear they weren't going to teach us anything ninja-related just yet. Besides history, the rest was mostly the same stuff I had already learned ages ago in grade school in my world anyway. By the end of class, I was ready to get out of there—until the teacher insisted the whole class mingle and talk to each other. This was my chance to help Naruto befriend the rest of the main characters early on, and I wasn't going to waste it! I shoved him a bit to wake him up, but nothing worked... until I got an idea.

"Wow, Naru-nii, that cute girl from before is looking right at us."

Naruto bolted up and looked around in a panic before realizing what I just did.

"Keiji-nii, why'd you do that? I was having the best dream..."

"You'll thank me later, bro. Let's see if we can't solve the whole friend dilemma!"

I dragged him from his seat towards the closest rookie nine member, who happened to be Kiba. He turned to us before I had to tap him on the shoulder—a good first sign.

"Hi! I'm Inuzuka Kiba. What're your names?"

"Harutani Keiji, at your service!"

"Uzumaki Naruto, the future Hokage!"

Kiba blinked a few times, then threw his head back in laughter. At first, I thought my plan had failed—until he stopped laughing and stuck out his hand.

"Wow, you don't waste time making plans, do ya? That's a pretty cool dream!"

No sooner had those words popped out of Kiba's mouth than Naruto made the biggest grin I had ever seen on him. The plan was working! The only thing that could ruin this moment would be—

"Hey, watch where you're going, teme!"

 _Shit. I forgot about Sasuke._

The Uchiha had shoved his way past Naruto as he moved toward the door, not giving a second glance backwards as he did so. Before I could stop him, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shoulder... at which point, all hell broke loose. In a flash, Sasuke whipped around and struck the blond in the face with a palm heel, sending him into me and knocking us both backwards.

"Don't touch me again, dobe."

"Why you-"

"Naru-nii, stop it-"

"What's wrong with you, blondie?"

"Leave Sasuke alone, jerk!"

The plan was going all wrong. It was at this point the teacher took notice and stepped in; and—big surprise—he blamed me and Naruto for the whole thing. I tried to take it all in stride, but then the teacher said something that set me off too:

"I should've known YOU'D cause trouble, you little brat! Why they let you in this place is beyond me, but seeing as I can't kick you out, I'll settle for putting you in detention for the rest of the semester!"

Yeah, this dude was going down. So I did one of the stupidest things I could have done—I punched the teacher in the dick.

"You... little..."

"No one talks to my friend that way!"

In retrospect, we were lucky said teacher wasn't popular among the rest of the faculty. Otherwise, I probably would have been expelled for that incident. Instead, I had to join Naruto in detention. The look on teach's face was totally worth it, though.

* * *

A few years later, a sleeping Konoha was rudely awakened at five in the morning by the village PA system. No, there wasn't any big announcement. Instead, they awoke to music:

"BOOOOOORN UNDER A BAAAD SIIIIGN! BEEN DOOOOOOWN SINCE I LEARNED TO CRAAAAAAWWWWWLLL!"

I had long ago taught myself the shamisen in preparation to introduce the blues to an unsuspecting world. I never suspected I would be doing it to prank the whole village, but when you're Naruto's adoptive brother, pranks are part of the package. It took a full week of planning to figure out how to wire the entire village PA system to one microphone, but it was totally worth the trouble. Especially since we rigged the speakers closest to our teacher's house to be twice as loud.

"Bwahahahahaaaa! Sing it, Keiji-nii! You're on fire!"

Naruto was rolling on the ground behind me in laughter. At first, I was reluctant to help him with his pranks, but once I realized making friends early was not going to work, I decided that he at least shouldn't have to do it alone. Besides, all the planning and sneaking around made for good ninja practice.

"IF IT WASN'T FOR BAAAAAAD LUUUUCK, I WOULDN'T HAVE NOOOOO LUCK AT ALLLLLLLLLL!"

I gave one last big twang on the shamisen before dropping to my knees and throwing up the horns. Naruto and I were about to make a run for it when we heard clapping behind us, causing the both of us to nearly jump out of our skins. Turning around in panic, we found ourselves face-to-face with the Third Hokage and several jounin. The old man, still clapping, seemed slightly amused. The jounin looked PISSED. With no hope of escape, Naruto and I took a bow.

"Thank you, thank you, hold your applause!"

* * *

 _ **Yeah, yeah, this was kind of a weak chapter. Don't worry, we'll get to the action soon enough. Feel free to leave reviews!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** _ **Time skip! At this point, the characters are roughly 12 years old.**_

 _ **I own nothing of Naruto. If I did, I wouldn't be doing these copyright disclaimers.**_

* * *

Five years into the academy, we were finally being trained as ninja. I have to admit, I was kind of concerned about the nature of the training, but in the end it was pretty fun. The coolest thing is the whole flash-step trick—you feel like a superhero, the wind blowing in your face as you make impossible leaps at impossible speeds. It's like something out of a fantasy tale or something—me, doing superhuman feats! And alongside a fictional character, too! Sure, I still missed my old world, but even if I got the opportunity to go back, I didn't think I'd take it. That said, I still wanted to learn more about how I got here; little did I know that I'd be getting a hell of a clue fairly soon.

"Keiji-nii, pass it here!"

"Coming right up!"

At the moment, the class was playing the ninja equivalent of flag football. It was kind of like the thing in the anime with Kakashi and the bells, but no actual combat was allowed in this, and instead of bells, we had a sash around our waists. Lose that, and you're out. There was also a ball about the same size as a soccer ball; the goal was to be the team holding the ball when the time ran out.

 _Manning finds his receiver, and lets loose a perfect spiral..._

"Here ya go, Nar—HEY!"

"Thanks for the ball!"

 _Dammit, how did Shikamaru get between us so fast?_

Naruto and I immediately changed course and went after Shikamaru... only to run into an ambush by Tenten and Shino. Fortunately, Naruto and I had gotten very good at dodging people—mostly due to having to flee from jounin after pulling a prank. We both dropped out of our flash-step suddenly, sliding on the ground under the two of them, then immediately leapt forward again.

"We're not gonna lose that easily—OH COME ON!"

That was me, discovering that my sash was now in the hands of none other than Uchiha Sasuke. And of course, so was Naruto's. I couldn't hate the guy entirely, considering what he's been through, but that smug condescension he wore on his face almost made me want to punch him sometimes. I fortunately had enough self-control not to try and attack the child prodigy—I wasn't stupid. A loud whistle interrupted us before we could do anything else.

"Time's up! Well, well, looks like Uchiha's team wins again—as if there were any doubt at all!"

 _Yeah, yeah, rub it in, teach. We'll see how smug you are when you find your whole house painted hot pink!_

Aside from Sasuke and Shikamaru, who kept their usual stoicism, the winning team cheered. Our team, on the other hand, grumbled—mostly at Naruto and me.

"Why'd we have to get stuck with the Loser Twins?"

"Yeah, if it wasn't for them, we'd have had this in the bag-"

"Lay off them, will ya?"

"Or what? You'll bite us?"

"No, but Akamaru might. Oh, and considering the 'Loser Twins' have a reputation for creative revenge, it's probably a good idea not to make 'em angry."

Naruto and I gave our creepiest smirks at the bullies, who backed off a bit.

"Besides, it's not their fault the other team had an Uchiha. Face it, we lost before this whole thing started..."

 _Ah, Kiba. Remind me to give you and Akamaru doggie treats in the near future._

No, that wasn't a joke. Apparently the Inuzuka clan had quite a few things in common with their dogs. They were also among the only people in the village who didn't hate us, and Kiba was the only real friend Naruto and I had made so far. If it weren't for him sticking up for us, I don't think we would have made it as far as we did.

* * *

Once classes were done for the day, Naruto and I decided to head to Ichiraku Ramen for some grub. On the way there, though, we passed a strangely-dressed man who suddenly whipped around to look at us.

"Wait—Eisuke? Is that you?"

Naruto and I kept walking, not realizing who he was addressing. All of a sudden, though, he was standing in our way... and staring wide-eyed at me.

"Um, can I help you?"

"Eisuke, it IS you! You're older, but I'd never forget your face!"

Naruto and I looked at each other quizzically, before turning back to him.

"Sorry, mister, but you've got the wrong kid. I'm Harutani Keiji."

"Keiji-nii, what's he talking about?"

I hadn't the faintest clue... until I remembered something. My working theory on how I got here involved being switched with an alternate reality version of myself—and if that was the case, then this guy undoubtedly knew something about it.

"Who are you, and who is Eisuke? Why are you looking for him?"

"Because I'm your uncle, Eisuke!"

 _Oh shit. I've already invested in the whole Harutani Keiji identity; if my theory is right and this guy knows my alternate self, he could cause huge problems!_

I tried to think of any other option, but in the end, I decided to run. This guy would never believe the truth, and even if he did, he would probably blame me for whatever happened to his nephew.

"Sorry, mister, you've still got the wrong person! Come on, Naruto, we need to leave, now!"

Naruto and I bolted, leaving the guy shouting after me. Luckily, he didn't seem to know ninjutsu, because we didn't see him chasing us.

"Keiji-nii, who was that guy?"

"Naru-nii, there's something you need to hear. But not now—let's get home. I'll tell you there."

* * *

A few minutes later, we found ourselves in the small apartment Naruto and I shared; the Third had given us the place and ordered the landlady to let us keep it free of charge. There were plenty of ways for us to be spied on there, but Naruto and I had long ago figured out how to get around all of them. This was about the only place in the village where we could talk without being heard.

"Okay, Keiji-nii, what's this about?"

I sighed a bit. This was not going to be easy.

"Before I start, let me warn you: odds are, you won't believe one word I say, but I swear, it's all true. And another thing: please, promise me you won't tell this to anyone else."

"Keiji-nii-"

"ANYONE else, Naruto."

Naruto furrowed his brow a bit, but then nodded.

"Okay, here's the deal. I honestly don't know who Eisuke is, but I may know why that guy thinks I'm him. Basically—and here's the part you won't believe—I'm not from this world."

Dead silence. Naruto blinked at me; this was more or less the reaction I expected. I continued to speak, being careful to avoid the whole "fictional characters" part of the story.

"All I know is, I was minding my own business when a storm came out of nowhere, a portal of some kind opened up, I was sucked in, and I found myself in the woods, naked. It didn't take long for someone to find me, so I made up a name as fast as I could."

Naruto frowned. I could tell that he didn't like hearing that last sentence. "So, what you're saying is... Harutani Keiji doesn't exist?"

"Technically, yes. But Naruto, I swear to you, I never lied to you about the kind of person I am. As far as I'm concerned, Harutani Keiji IS who I am now. I didn't have anything really going for me in my world—no future, no opportunities, no dreams. Coming to this world, meeting you... it's the best thing that ever happened to me. You're the first real friend I've ever had, and that's the absolute truth."

Naruto paused. For a moment, I was afraid he would be angry, even reject me. But what Naruto said put my mind at complete ease.

"I believe you, Keiji-nii."

 _After everything you just heard, you still think of me as your brother..._

"Thank you, Naru-nii. You don't know how hard it was to keep this from you..."

"So, what about the guy we just saw? Who's Eisuke?"

"I'm not sure. My best guess is that there was some version of me in this world already, and we somehow got switched. I don't want to believe that's true, because if it is..."

"You'd have to go back to bring him here."

"I don't want to have to go back, Naru-nii. Not after all we've been through together. But if I ruined someone's life by coming here... I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try to fix it. In any case, this guy knows something. I'm afraid that if we told him the truth, he'd either not believe us, or he'd think I intentionally hurt his nephew. Either way, we have to find out more about him—without him learning too much about me."

Naruto put his hand on my shoulder and smiled. "Don't worry—we'll figure it out together, Keiji-nii. You're the first real friend I ever had, too."

Even if I had a thousand years to do it, I couldn't describe just how much those words meant to me. It wouldn't be easy—hell, it was one of the roughest ordeals I have ever encountered, and that's including the Fourth Great Ninja War. But so long as I had Naru-nii at my back, I knew it would turn out okay in the end. It did—but not without loss...

* * *

 _ **Yes, that last line there is a sign of tragedy to come. Don't worry, this story will still have a lot more lighthearted fantasy stuff, and it WILL have a happy ending—but as a fan of Don Bluth films, I believe in earning a happy ending. With that said, please leave reviews if you can—it helps me get better at writing, and motivates me to continue the story!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** _ **Just to let you know, I had to stretch canon a bit to make the reveal of how my OC was pulled into the Narutoverse happen. So you don't need to point out "hey, that's not how things work!" I already know. XD**_

 _ **I don't own Naruto. If I did, the plot would have been a lot less convoluted towards the end.**_

* * *

It didn't take long for us to find the mystery man again—those clothes he was wearing were distinctive, to say the least. The kind of clothes he was wearing happened to be similar to ones I had seen in the anime, but unfortunately, they were worn by characters from Amegakure. And that place didn't exactly have many friendly characters in the series. We were fairly sure he wasn't a ninja, because it was pretty easy to follow him without him noticing us. Besides, if he were, the the Konoha jounin would have been all over him.

We managed to find out that he was staying in a small inn on the outskirts of the village; we waited until it was dark, then snuck into his room while he slept. We managed to get lucky in two ways: one, he was a heavy sleeper; but more importantly, two, he kept a journal on his nightstand.

"C'mon, Keiji-nii, let's take it and get out of here. It'll be really awkward if he wakes up..."

"It'll be even more awkward if he finds out it's missing. Besides, it's not that big a book, and I'm a fast reader..."

I opened it up and started reading. What I found answered a couple of questions, but added several more:

 _Date: XX/XX/XXXX: Brother said he didn't trust the new leader; I told him he was nuts. Ame has ruled our land for a long time. We aren't ninja, so whoever the guy is we are probably beneath his notice anyway. Although, the power the guy wields is a little scary; after all, he can make the rain stop. If he isn't a god, he's pretty darn close to one to be able to do that..._

 _Date: XX/XX/XXXX: It's not like Brother to leave without saying anything. Asked around, heard he was summoned to the hidden village for something. They wanted his family with him; I hope it doesn't have anything to do with him not liking the new leader. I'm sure there's some innocent explanation—that new guy hasn't shown his face to us non-ninja, but he hasn't done anything bad yet._

 _Date: XX/XX/XXXX: Five days since anyone saw them. Went to the village to ask, but they wouldn't let me in, and simply denied everything. I didn't like the look they gave me; maybe my brother was right. Something is definitely wrong here..._

 _Date: XX/XX/XXXX: Dead. He's dead. Oh Kami, I'm so sorry... brother showed up at my doorstep, bleeding from multiple wounds; told me he, Mariko, and Eisuke were captured by the new leader. The new leader had someone with him who did things to them... brother didn't know what, but Mariko didn't make it. He managed to get Eisuke out alive, but they got separated somewhere along the Konoha border. Brother, I swear, I will find him. I may not be able to fight or be a ninja, but I won't let your son die._

That last entry nearly made me gag, but I didn't know why. I stopped myself before I could wake the poor guy up; against my better judgement, I kept reading.

 _Date: XX/XX/XXXX: Brother, please forgive me—I failed you again, I failed your wife, I failed Eisuke. I looked all over, but I couldn't find any trace of him. I'm leaving Ame for good; they'll be looking for me too. I'm so sorry..._

 _Date: XX/XX/XXXX: Dear Kami, I found him! It's been seven years, but I have found Eisuke! I was traveling through Fire when I heard about a pair of young Konoha children who played pranks—and one of them fit the description of Eisuke to the smallest detail! I have to find him—Konoha-nin or no, he is still my nephew. Brother, I won't fail you again. I swear it._

That was the latest entry. I slowly put the pieces together—and what little I managed scared me. The description of the new leader of Amegakure fit only one individual: Pain. Which meant that whoever was aiding pain in the experiments had to have been a member of the Akatsuki. Which meant that if someone else heard about Eisuke, they would make the same assumption he did and come after me. Naruto and I are only twelve, and nowhere near genin-level yet. There wouldn't be any chance for us if the Akatsuki came for me. And that's not even considering what they might do to Naruto when they realize who HE is.

"Nnrg... huh? EISUKE?!"

 _Motherfucking—he woke up!_

"Let's get out of here, Naru-nii!"

"Sorry for intruding, mister!"

"EISUKE, WAIT!"

* * *

We ran for a good while before stopping to catch our breath. Once we were sure we were alone, Naruto and I began to plan our next move.

"From what I read, the people who hurt this Eisuke and his family are pretty scary. I don't think we can handle this alone..."

"We're ninja-in-training, Keiji-nii. We aren't helpless."

"'In training' is the key phrase there, Naru-nii. We need protection."

 _Problem is, there's only one guy in the whole damn village who would be willing to do that. And he's not exactly in his prime anymore. Our only hope is that the Akatsuki's plan isn't ready to be put in action yet—that's the only reason they wouldn't come after us directly. But that still leaves the Ame-nin as their pawns..._

"Maybe jii-san could help us? He's the head of the whole village..."

 _Huh, strange minds think alike. At least I won't have to go through the trouble of convincing you._

"Sounds like our best option. I don't like having to tell my secret to everyone, but we don't have any other choice."

"And what secret is that, kid?"

 _That's not a good voice..._

We whipped around to find ourselves face-to-face with a particularly scary-looking ninja wearing a blue-black cloak and a re-breather. With the Amegakure symbol on his headband.

"You know, it wasn't nice of you to run off all those years ago. Lucky for you, our leader still wants you alive. If you come quietly, I might not have to hurt your friend there..."

"Yeah, I don't think so. I'm not stupid enough to think you won't just kill him as a witness!"

"Keiji-nii is my brother! You'll have to go through both of us!"

 _Nice words, Naru-nii, but wrong person to say them to!_

"Oh my, two brats against one of me? You don't stand a chance."

"It's not exactly like we have reinforcements. It's just you, and me, and Naru-nii, and HEEELLLP!"

Before the ninja could react, three ANBU popped out of the shadows and charged at the guy. Naruto blinked with confusion at this, but that wasn't surprising—he hadn't learned about the Kyuubi, so he had no reason to think he would be shadowed by ANBU. Fortunately, I knew better.

"Hurry, Naru-nii, let's get out of here!"

We both flash-stepped away, but before we could get very far, the guy was in front of us. Covered in blood.

"Going somewhere?"

 _Shit! If this guy can wipe the floor with ANBU that fast, we have no fucking chance!_

"That was a clever little trick, kid. But playtime is over. You're coming with me!"

"Not if I can help it! Get him, Akamaru!"

"What?!"

Two blurs came at the Ame-nin, who managed to dodge just in time. In a second, Kiba and Akamaru were at our side; Kiba had a kunai out, and Akamaru was bearing his fangs. Normally I would be thankful for the assist, but not against this guy—not with us at the level we were!

"You two just can't help but get into trouble, huh? Good thing I was doing some night training!"

"Kiba, run! This guy is too much for—"

Before I could finish the sentence, the Ame-nin threw two massive shuriken—one at Naruto, the other at Kiba. Aiming to kill. I opened my mouth to scream...

 _ **Well well well, looks like you need my help sooner than I thought you would.**_

 _Wait, who the fuck said that?_

* * *

All of a sudden, I was in a sewer. A very familiar-looking sewer. As in, the same kind of sewer that served as the prison for a certain nine-tailed fox.

"That's not possible... Naruto is the Nine-Tails Jinchuuriki!"

 _ **You're absolutely right. Your situation is just a bit more complicated than his.**_

I turned around slowly... and found myself face-to-face with a massive cage. Inside was a Nine-tailed fox... but with blue fur rather than the red of the Kyuubi.

"Who the hell are you?"

 _ **I'm the one who brought you into this world, kit.**_

The only thing stopping me from freaking out was the fact that I was practically paralyzed with fear at the sheer size of the thing. That, plus the potential for answers.

"I'm going to need a bit more information than that..."

 _ **Heh. You sure are an inquisitive one. I suppose I can fill you in. Basically, I'm a clone. Or something like it. The night the Kyuubi attacked the village, some masked bastard tried to get his hands on it. That plan went south when the Kyuubi was sealed inside your friend, but not before the asshole got a small sample of its fur. Fur overflowing with Bijuu chakra. He figured that if he couldn't get his hands on the real deal, he'd try to make his own nine-tails. So he went to one of his buddies, who provided test subjects for Masky; the idea was to clone a nine-tails from the fur and chakra, then seal it inside a host before it grew too big to control. As expected, most subjects couldn't take it; two of them got away, but only one managed to successfully become a jinchuuriki. But the child's body was too weak. He didn't make it far before he started to give out. I had grown powerful enough to use most of what the nine-tails was capable of fairly quickly, but if my host died, so would I. So I drew on all my power in an attempt to rend space and time asunder in hopes of drawing in a new host; your universe just happens to be adjacent to this one, so you got pulled in.**_

"So why didn't I just pop in right next to Eisuke?"

 _ **Space-time is a fragile thing, kit. Only one version of any individual is allowed in the same universe, clones excluded. So you got fused with him. The fusion added your life energy to his, saving the body... but as your mind was older and stronger, his was lost. His body, your mind.**_

"God... oh god. You're saying I essentially killed a kid—"

 _ **He was about to die anyway. There wasn't anything that could be done. But I wasn't about to die with him after I had just been created. After that, though, I lost almost all my power. It took about this long to get enough of it back to help you. Just in the nick of time, eh?**_

I knew deep down it wasn't my fault. This was something beyond my control. But that didn't change the fact that I only came here because a child died in my place. Nausea swept over me to the point where I nearly vomited.

 _ **Hey, enough of that, kit. We don't have time for self-pity or guilt. If you don't draw on my power, we'll both get caught, and the bastard who did it will probably dissect us. Oh, and your friends will die.**_

As much as I hated to admit it... the thing was right. Naruto and Kiba were going to die if I didn't do anything.

"What do I do?"

 _ **Touch your hand to the seal on the cage—I'll take care of the rest.**_

I did as I was told, looking up at the blue beast. "One last thing, before we go any further: what's your name?"

 _ **Considering I'm only a clone of Kyuubi's, I don't exactly have one. But I suppose Yoko will do. Now hold on, kit—this will feel a little weird.**_

All of a sudden, I felt a huge wave of power coursing through me—it was like I was on fire, but instead of burning it filled me with more energy than I had ever felt...

* * *

Back in the real world, the two shuriken flew at Naru-nii and Kiba. But to the shock of everyone present, they didn't hit their mark.

"Holy shit... what a rush!"

In a blink, I had leapt in the path of both shuriken, caught them in each hand, and landed in a crouch. Also, a fiery blue aura surrounded me.

"Keiji-nii? Is that you?"

"I-impossible! What are you, brat?!"

I glared up at the Ame-nin. "I'll tell you this only once, so listen up."

In a flash, I was in the guy's face, kicking him in the jaw hard enough to send him flying. He landed in a heap about twenty feet away, unconscious and with a broken jaw.

"No one. Hurts. My friends."

With that, the aura disappeared, and the rush was gone. I never felt so exhausted in my life; next thing I knew, I was blacking out, Naru-nii and Kiba shouting my name.

* * *

 _ **Next time, really awkward explanations!**_


	6. Chapter 6

****A/N:**** _**_**I realized that I can't fit the whole Mizuki/Iruka thing in this story and have it work; I always intended for this fic to explore an AU of the Narutoverse as opposed to just having my OC live through the exact same events as the anime/manga blow for blow, though, so it doesn't really matter. Besides, IMO Iruka was a flat character whose only real purpose was to be nice to Naruto and then get hurt to motivate him. With Keiji and Kiba there, though, the first part would seem rather redundant now. Don't worry, though—I'll still keep some familiar moments in.**_**_

 ** _ **I don't own Naruto. If I did, Orochimaru's death wouldn't have been as nice for him.**_**

* * *

I woke up in the hospital. No surprise there. Naru-nii and Kiba were sitting next to my bed. No surprise there, either. What DID surprise me was the four ANBU in the room… and the Third Hokage sitting in a chair in the corner, smoking his pipe with a serious expression on his face. Not the "worried teacher/grandparent who wants to know what you did so they know how to lecture you" look. The "My village and everyone in it is under potential threat because I don't know what I need to know, so you'd better tell me everything so I won't have to do something unpleasant" look.

 _Okay, yeah, this is gonna suck._

"Keiji-nii, are you alright?"

"Yeah, ya gave us a real scare, man."

I nodded slightly. Very much not okay, but nothing rest can't help. At least, so long as I survived that look the Third was giving me.

"What happened after I blacked out?"

Naruto and Kiba looked down at the question. They clearly didn't like the answer. Before I could repeat the question, the Third sighed and gestured for everyone else to leave the room. Once we were alone, he breathed out a puff of smoke and spoke in a calm yet authoritative voice.

"Naruto has told me of your origin. Normally, I would disregard such tales as simple flights of fancy; however, prankster though he may be, Naruto is not given to that level of fiction. My instincts, too, tell me that you have been truthful to him. However, two problems remain. One, the chakra signature you gave off was nearly identical to that of the bijuu Naruto's father sealed within him. Two…"

The Third stood, walked to my bedside, and gave me that piercing glare from before. "You know far more about this world than you pretend."

 _How does he know that?_

He must have read the confusion on my face, because he replied to my thought. "I just casually told you the name of the one responsible for Naruto's condition, as well as the nature of his condition; both are carefully kept secrets. You didn't even blink."

I knew that the old man would eventually find out about the alternate universe thing, but I hoped I could avoid telling anyone about the "fictional characters" part. Now, though, I had no choice but to spill the beans.

So I told him everything. And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. From the first episode to the very last. I even told him everything I knew about my current situation, including the part involving the Kyuubi clone inside me. When I finished, he paced a bit, then turned toward the window and stood there in silence for a while. He was clearly about to make a difficult decision; but what that decision was threw me for a fucking loop.

"Unless I say otherwise, nothing of what you just told me can ever leave this room, under any circumstances."

"But what about—"

"FURTHERMORE. Under no circumstances are you to act upon that knowledge without my express permission, even to avert the worst of it."

Like I said, I was completely flabbergasted. This was information on the fate of the entire world, right down to his death, and the deaths of so many other people.

"Why? Why would you just sweep all of this under the rug?"

"Because your very presence in this world has changed enough as it is. Much of what is happening now, according to what you told me, was laid down years ago, and thus impossible to derail; that which was to come was the result of events that have been altered to the point where it is likely that none of it will happen in the same manner, if at all. In short, whatever destiny this world had before has now been changed, and there is no way to know how much. And until we do know, interfering without thinking could make things worse."

"But what about Sasuke and Itachi? What about Obito? If we just told Sasuke everything—"

"It would cause more problems than it would solve. How do you think he would respond if you told him that everything he suffered served as entertainment for others?"

I almost replied before I saw the Third's point. Sasuke would go even more berserk.

The old man sighed, then continued his speech. "As far as the Akatsuki, they are lead by a subtle manipulator. Obito will undoubtedly lay low for a while now that he has lost his creation to us rather than continue to try and capture you, only to risk exposing his true plans. That, at least, gives us time to gauge just how much has changed, and to adjust our own strategy accordingly."

I understood what he was saying. Hell, it made perfect sense. But I still didn't like it.

"How much does Naru-nii know?"

"Due to the events of last night, both he and Kiba have been told of his condition, though not the events behind it. They have been instructed to keep all of it a secret from now on. You may tell Naruto and Kiba of your own bijuu, but to them alone, and of nothing further. From this point forward, you must behave as if you were simply another character in the story, with no knowledge of what is to come or of what has passed."

"What about Eisuke's uncle? He should at least know what happened to my alternate self—"

"The conversation would be one-sided, I'm afraid. His body was found this morning. Evidently, the Ame-nin went for him first."

I choked a bit at that. That meant he died thinking that he'd found his nephew and failed to protect him. And it would have to have been almost immediately after we left him that night…

"Why do you cry?"

I clenched my fists around the bed covers. "I'm still powerless. Even in this world, where I can do all these amazing things, I still can't do anything…"

The Third turned back around to look at me… and smiled warmly. This was much more like the wise old man from the anime.

"You're still young. Give it time."

"Technically, I'm 42 years old…"

"Only in terms of your perception of time. I'm guessing that the vast majority of the knowledge you brought from your world outside of the story has little to no relevance in this one, correct?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"And not only that, you come from a much more stable universe. Most children here probably have twice as much experience as the average adult there, correct?"

"So what?"

"So, what, aside from your perception of time, makes you different from any ordinary twelve-year-old in this village?"

That stopped me in my tracks. He was absolutely right.

"You have plenty of time to learn, to train, to live and grow into this world. Why should you hurry to fix now what you have no control over? Let us older folks take care of things until you're ready. That's what we're for, after all!"

The grandfatherly chuckle that followed that statement somehow made my frustration seem almost foolish. What happened to Eisuke's family wasn't my fault; the one responsible for the murder of his uncle was in custody, and was almost certainly being given his comeuppance. The future was beyond my control, for now. But rather than filling me with uncertainty as it had up to now, that knowledge instead filled me with a strange sort of drive; a desire to learn, to grow, to be stronger, so that when my time eventually came, I would be ready to do my part in making sure that none of the bad things that happened in the series could happen here. The Third leaned in to look at my face, and smiled.

"Well what do you know… there it is, written on your face."

"What?"

"The Will of Fire."

He left the room with a grin on his face; it didn't take long for me to discover a similar expression in my reflection in the window.

* * *

The next two years passed without incident. Naru-nii and I were afraid that Kiba would reject us over the whole jinchuuriki thing, but as it turned out, we didn't have to worry; Inuzuka clan members are known for their fierce and unconditional loyalty to kin and friend alike, and Kiba was no different.

As for the old man's words, it seemed things had, indeed, changed significantly. For one, Naru-nii and I didn't see anything of Iruka or Mizuki; our teacher from before remained, though, and continued to try and make our lives miserable. We dealt with it, mostly through the fine art of pranks, but that still left our studies. Fortunately, thanks to Naruto and I knowing about our bijuu, we didn't have to worry about stealing any scrolls to get the hang of the kage bunshin no jutsu; the way things were going, we wouldn't have any trouble graduating. As a matter of fact, we were currently waiting for our team assignments. Little did I know that we were about to encounter one hell of a deviation from canon.

"Ugh, how long until teach gets here? Did he sleep in or something?"

Kiba stretched in boredom as Akamaru yawned.

"Hey, don't look at us. Keiji-nii and I have been way too busy training to mess with him lately."

"Wait, the Loser Twins have been applying themselves? When did THAT happen!?"

That was Neji. Normally he didn't bother to acknowledge our existence, but our reputation preceded us.

"Hey, pardon us for not being prodigies who barely have to practice at all to get ahead. Besides, fun as messing with teach is, do you really think Naru-nii and I want to be stuck here forever?"

"Yosh! Youthful Keiji is right! I have trained three times harder than any other in preparation for this day!"

"You and youthfulness… don't boys think of anything besides fighting and training?"

I turned around in my seat to see Sakura standing over us from behind. "Better than stalking you-know-who nonstop."

Sakura's face went beet-red. "S-shut up, idiot! What do you know? Besides, he likes me back!"

"Oh, but are you sure he even knows you exist? Why would he bother with you when he could have a bombshell like me?"

You will never see so many people rushing to get out of the way in terror until you see a catfight brewing between Sakura and Ino. Naru-nii was the exception; he was too busy crushing on the former HARD to notice. I leaned in to whisper at him.

"Hey, bro, you do realize you don't have a chance in hell with her, right?"

"Hey, you don't know that!"

 _Actually, I do. Not that I can tell you why..._

The teacher finally arrived in class; the room went completely silent for the first time since, well, EVER. Eventually, we came to Team seven, the beginning of the Konoha 11 assignments.

"Team seven, under Hatake Kakashi… Harutani Keiji, Uchiha Sasuke, and Uzumaki Naruto."

 _Wait, what?_

The rest of the class didn't catch my reaction. The change from canon, however minor, caught me off guard. I was glad that they didn't break up Naru-nii and I (we may have not-so-subtly implied to the teacher that doing so would result in a rather unpleasant home makeover), but the surprise still made me wonder how much else would change. I didn't have long to wait…

* * *

 ** _ **Yeah, Sakura is out of Team 7. How will this affect things? You'll just have to wait and see!**_**


	7. Chapter 7

****A/N:**** _**_**The cover art for this fic is from a custom avatar site. It's okay, but I would really like some kind of art depicting my OC alongside Naruto himself. Sadly, I have no money to spare for a commission. Instead, I will just say that if you want to make that kind of thing, go right ahead and PM me with the link to the work. In return, I would be willing to let you make up an OC for Keiji and company to encounter—friend or foe! Just PM me the details if you're interested. Again, though, it's not terribly important, just something I think would be cool to have.**_**_

 ** _ **I don't own Naruto. If I did, the anime would have had less filler.**_**

* * *

As it turned out, The rest of the Konoha 11 were left relatively unaltered. The Ino-Shika-Cho Trio remained under Asuma, Team Guy was intact, and Kiba still ended up in Kurenai's team alongside Hinata and Shino. The exception was Sakura; she ended up getting put into a team of her own.

While I was still glad about having Naruto there, and more than a little stoked about having Kakashi as a sensei, the presence of Sasuke worried me. Here was the very person whose actions ended up shaping a ton of what happened in the series, and if things went anywhere near like they went in the series, I would have to watch him fall to the dark side. Hokage's orders or no, I didn't want to let that happen, but at the same time, I wasn't about to rock the boat before at least giving things a chance.

"What are you thinking about, Keiji-nii? You have that whole serious look."

I turned to look at Naruto, then shook my head. "Nothing. It's okay."

He frowned at that—he knew I was lying, but didn't pry.

"So... when is our sensei getting here? You'd think a jounin would be on time."

Sasuke looked toward the door of the room as he spoke. It was at that point he noticed a small present Naruto had placed in the doorframe.

"An eraser? Really?"

I shook my head. "Hey, don't look at me! Bro, you could at least be more creative. We have a reputation to maintain!"

 _ _Besides, I already saw how anticlimactic his reaction was in the anime.__

"It's his fault for being late! Besides, sometimes it's the simple jokes that work the best!"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes; I just kind of watched. Several minutes passed without any sign of Kakashi, and for a moment I wondered if something had happened to him...

"My first impression of you is... disappointment."

The three of us—especially Naru-nii—all jumped in unison, startled by the voice coming from the window, where Hatake Kakashi sat, chin on fist in a kind of bored slouch.

"Honestly, did any of you think a jounin like me would be fooled by such a simple trick? Especially considering who two of my students are..."

Sasuke was the first to speak up. "Whoa, you were right, Keiji. You and Naruto really DO have a reputation."

 _ _Why thank you. Now if only I can stop geeking out internally over being in the presence of one of the single most badass motherfuckers in the whole series...__

A few minutes later, we were on a rooftop for the introductions part. I already knew what Naruto and Sasuke would say, so I won't get too much into that.

"Alright. Why don't you introduce yourselves, one at a time?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Things you like, things you hate, dreams for the future, hobbies... things like that."

Kakashi started as per Naruto's canon insistence. And just as in canon, he told us jack. Sasuke's answers were word-for-word what they were in the original anime.

Kakashi then gestured to me. It took me a bit to get started due to the near-flop sweat I did because Hatake Fucking Kakashi just asked me to introduce myself.

"Uh, I'm Harutani Keiji. I like history and ninjutsu, I hate bullies and math, and my hobbies include pranks and playing the shamisen. As for the future..."

I paused, considering everything that had happened up to that point. This question was easier than I thought it would be; before I came to this world, I didn't really have many dreams—they had all vanished a long time ago. Now, though, there was one in particular that encompassed all the others.

"I want to do something important with my life... something that'll have an impact on the world."

Finally, we came to the main character. The response was almost identical to canon, with a couple of exceptions.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I like hanging out with Keiji-nii, eating instant ramen, and ESPECIALLY eating Ichiraku Ramen, but I hate the three minutes you have to wait after you pour the water in the ramen cup. My hobbies are playing pranks with Keiji-nii, and eating different kinds of ramen and comparing them!"

That's right, I rank up there alongside ramen with Naru-nii. It's about the highest possible compliment you can get, as far as he is concerned. As for his dreams, you know perfectly fucking well what his answer was.

"Last but not least, my dream for the future is... to be Hokage!"

Uzumaki Naruto, ladies and gents.

* * *

With that out of the way, we headed off to the "grab the bells" training. I decided that if I was going to prevent Sasuke from going bad, I would have to be the bridge between him and Naruto early on; as such, this was the perfect testing grounds for that. Unfortunately, I had my work cut out for me from the start.

"Okay, if we just stick together, we could—HEY! WAIT!"

Sasuke charged off without so much as a backward glance.

"Dammit, this is going to be harder than I thought... Naru-nii, let's follow and WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"C'mon, Keiji-nii, let teme get his butt kicked—if we hurry, we can sneak a bite or two before one-eye can catch us!"

 _ _I don't know who to be more frustrated at right now...__

"Look, Naru-nii, I don't like him any more than you, okay? But if we lose, you might end up going back to the academy! Do you really want that to happen after everything we've been through? We'd be split up, too!"

This seemed to get through to him on some level. He grumbled a bit, then straightened his headband.

"Grr... fine. Still not working with teme, though!"

 _ _Well, it's a start.__

Unfortunately, the test still went south from there. Sasuke kept brushing off any attempt I made to form a plan, Naru-nii got angry and rushed in, etc. Only one thing was altered from canon, aside from my presence—the loser. Due to all the time I spent trying to get Naruto and Sasuke to work together, I was the only one who never made an attempt on the bells. And as a result, I found myself tied to the stake in Naru-nii's place. I knew that this was the real test, and that all it would take for us all to pass would be for Naruto and Sasuke to share their lunch with me, or show some other form of disobedience on my behalf. I already knew Naruto would, but the circumstances surrounding Sasuke were different here. Would he still help?

"Well, I guess we know who's going back to the academy," Kakashi said with a sigh. "Though I will say, Naruto, you tried harder than I thought you would."

Naruto, to his credit, wasn't taking that. "Look, one-eye, I don't care if he lost, Keiji-nii and I are a team and you're not splitting us up!"

"I'm pretty sure I am. You don't get to choose your team, Naruto. I told you the loser would be disqualified, and that's final. He didn't even try to go for the bells."

Sasuke didn't say anything; he sat facing away from us. Not a good sign.

"I don't care what your rules are, and I don't care what you said! Keiji-nii is my brother. If he gets disqualified, you can disqualify me, too!"

I saw Sasuke flinch at the word "brother". He certainly didn't have good memories concerning that subject; this was getting worse and worse for me. And to my horror, Kakashi seemed genuinely about to disqualify us both.

"Well, if that's the way you want it, then I guess I have no choice. Hand over your headbands—"

"Wait."

Naru-nii, Kakashi, and me all turned towards Sasuke. The Uchiha didn't turn around, or even move from where he was sitting.

"Naruto is right. Keiji doesn't deserve to go back to the academy."

"I told you, he didn't even attempt to take the bells—"

"Only because he was trying to form a plan. He tried to talk me through it, and like you said when you told us why we lost, I refused to cooperate. The same happened with Naruto. But Keiji kept trying to get us to focus and coordinate. If anything, he deserves to be here more than we do—because he was the one who cared enough about the mission to figure out that we would have to work together to complete it."

At the time, I wasn't entirely sure why Sasuke changed his tune so quickly. It seemed so unlike him.

 _ _Is it the brother thing? Common sense? Or something else?__

Kakashi went silent, as did the rest of us. After an agonizingly long time...

"Well well. Looks like you all pass."

* * *

 ** _ **Sorry about how short the chapter is. I'm still new to writing full series stuff, and I wasn't sure how to make this one any longer without padding or inserting things that would work better in a separate chapter.**_**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** **_Want to see what happened during the years I timeskipped over in previous chapters? Check out the companion drabble/oneshot series to this fic, "Nowhere Slowly"!_**

 _ **I don't own Naruto. If I did, Tenten would have gotten more screentime.**_

* * *

After we passed Kakashi's "secret" test, he took the whole team out for Ichiraku ramen. Naruto and I were, of course, regulars there by this point, so the proprietors never needed to ask us what we wanted—heck, before I came to this world, I generally had a "usual" order for every restaurant I ever went to. Some things never change.

"Whoa, slow down, Naruto. You're going to burst at the rate you're going."

Naruto's eating habits, for example.

"Don't bother, Kakashi-sensei. I gave up trying to slow Naru-nii down ages ago..."

Sasuke rolled his eyes as he started on his bowl. "Says the genin with a mouth stuffed full of noodles."

Yes, I'm a fast eater too. Nowhere near as fast as Naru-nii, though. As we were packing our food away like no tomorrow, Kakashi-sensei (I still couldn't believe I got to call him that) looked at the shamisen strapped to my back. It had been practically a part of my wardrobe for a good while now—I even gave it a name!

"So, you said you play music on that?"

"What, Motoko here? Yeah, I taught myself how to play ages ago. I've even written a few songs myself."

Naru-nii slurped down the last of his ramen and turned to Kakashi-sensei, giving an excited smile. "That's right! You've never heard Keiji-nii play, have you? His stuff is kinda weird, but really cool!"

Sasuke raised his eyebrow at me. "Are we really going to ignore the fact that you named your instrument? And what kind of a name is Motoko?"

 _The name of the anime heroine from Ghost in the Shell who practically cost me my virginity just from seeing her insanely hot body in the movie. Not that I can say that out loud._

"Hey, don't laugh. This instrument has a lot of meaning to me. It got me through some pretty rough times..."

Naruto frowned sympathetically. He knew what I was talking about—the loss of the world that I had left behind. I'd mostly gotten over it by that point, but for the first few years in this world I had some sleepless, even tear-filled nights over the loss of my family and what little I cherished from my old life. I've always loved the blues, but I had never truly felt them until I came here—and learning to play and write my own songs definitely helped me cope. Naru-nii was the first audience I had, and the fact that he enjoyed it meant a lot to me.

"Hmm. Well, we should get our first mission soon. If it ends up being away from the village, perhaps you could show us your chops on the road around the campfire."

 _Motherfucking Kakashi wants to hear me play the blues? Wow, my life just got ten times more awesome._

"I just might do that. Don't worry, you definitely won't regret asking!"

Sasuke snorted and looked away from us—the cheeriness of the moment was clearly starting to annoy him. I couldn't help but recall his speech to Kakashi-sensei after the bell test; he displayed a bizarre amount of sympathy for me, especially considering the fact that the most contact we had ever had was the occasional team training class at the academy, and even then we didn't even speak to each other. I still wasn't entirely sure what triggered that speech, but I figured that finding out what it was might give me some important information that could stop him from going all Darth Vader on the village. Hokage's orders or no, if things started to look bad, I wouldn't be able to just stand aside and let that happen.

* * *

"Ugh, that mission was so stupid! Who hires ninja to find a cat?!"

Yep. The cat mission. Chalk that down on the list of things from canon that stayed the same.

"Don't complain—missions like these are standard for newly-graduated ninja. You'll get action soon enough, Naruto."

We were sitting around a campfire on the road back from the Fire Daimyo's palace. It wasn't that far from the village—only about half a day's journey on foot. Unfortunately, that damn cat must have had some ninja training itself, because it made us look like idiots for the better part of four fucking hours (and that's not even mentioning the claw marks we all received. Seriously, screw that cat). By the time we started back towards the village, it was already pretty close to sunset, and that quickly became night; as such, we made a campfire and laid out our sleeping bags. In retrospect, this was a good thing; partially because we gained some experience on road life that would undoubtedly help later on, but mostly because it offered an opportunity for team bonding—and that tied directly into my efforts to bridge the gap between Sasuke and the rest of us.

Kakashi-sensei looked up from the crackling fire. "I almost forgot; didn't you say you'd show us some of your music earlier, Keiji?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I did!" I grabbed Motoko and the plectrum, and started tuning it. "Before I start, I ought to tell you: this isn't traditional shamisen music by any means. It's a style I invented myself."

 _Heh. As far as you all know._

"Let's see... this one got me through the early academy years."

An initial twang, and I began to play a basic 12-bar pattern; the lyrics were my own, and held a good deal of meaning for me. I sang quietly at first, but gradually began to sing louder as I got further into the music.

 _Well, I got my share of troubles, just like everyone._

 _I got my share of troubles, just like everyone._

 _But I ain't got no control when all is said and done._

 _I'm stuck here in a cage, I see others flyin' free._

 _Yes, I'm stuck here in this cage, watching others flyin' free._

 _But no matter how I struggle, there ain't no escape for me._

 _I got my share of troubles, just like everyone._

 _Yes, I got my share of troubles, just like everyone._

 _But I ain't got no control when all is said and done._

 _My life is goin' nowhere, I see others pass me by._

 _Yes, my life is goin' nowhere, I see others pass me by._

 _I can't seem to take the wheel, and that's what makes me cry._

 _Oh, I got my share of troubles, just like everyone._

 _You know, I got my share of troubles, just like everyone._

 _But I ain't got no control when all is said and done._

 _Some people have it worse, and that I can't deny._

 _Yes, some people got it worse, a fact I can't deny._

 _But when you ain't got no control, your troubles multiply._

 _And you'll be stuck with all your troubles 'til the day you die!_

As I sang, I poured my heart into the song. I didn't see the expressions on any of the others' faces; I was just too caught up in the music and the words to notice anything around me. If you've ever played music before, you know the feeling—it's almost like there's nothing in the world except you, your instrument, and the song. As I finished singing the last line, I let out one final chord, and set Motoko down. Once I was done, I looked around... and saw that my song had some kind of effect on Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei. Both the jounin and the Uchiha were staring at me, but not in shock or bewilderment; this wasn't a wide-eyed stare. This was the kind of distant look people get in their eyes when they hear something that stirs up an emotion or a memory. And from the looks on their faces, I'd say the memories that were stirred up were some pretty powerful ones. Kakashi-sensei spoke first:

"Well, Naruto was right when he said your music was interesting. I don't think I've ever heard anything like that. What do you call that style?"

"It's called the blues. There aren't too many rules to it, musically speaking—but the one that matters the most is that you have to feel every word that you sing. If your audience doesn't believe you, it isn't the blues."

"Considering the way that you sang, I think I really did believe you. What do you think of it, Sasuke?"

The Uchiha said nothing for a good while; when it came right down to it, he was still just as stoic as ever. But his eyes betrayed his feelings; out of all the people there, he truly knew what it was like to feel utterly powerless over your life, to feel like you had no control. And his eyes showed it.

"Hmph. It was fine..."

Naru-nii started to say something angry in response to that, but when he saw the distant look on Sasuke's face, he stopped himself. At that point I realized that I had actually done something right; Naruto had briefly put aside his dislike of Sasuke upon seeing that the latter had psychological and emotional scars just like him, and Sasuke had dropped his whole condescending asshole facade in front of all of us for the first time. True, it was unintentional, but it was still a good sign. I smiled slightly; maybe I could pull this off after all.

* * *

We got back to the village and turned in our report. And of course, Naruto insisted that we get a more difficult mission, as per canon.

"I'm sick of all these crappy missions! When are we gonna get something cool to do?!"

"I hate to say this, but I agree with Naruto. We've proven ourselves capable so far; why not give us something that can actually challenge us a bit?"

As backhanded as that first statement was, I was still pretty excited by it. Sasuke had just agreed with Naru-nii! Unfortunately, the Third caught my smile... and obviously figured out what it meant, and what I was trying to do. For a moment, I thought he would give me some sort of disapproving glare or ask to speak with me alone, but instead he sighed and relented. After all, he couldn't exactly say anything in front of the others, and calling me in for a private discussion would only raise questions he wouldn't want to have to answer. Besides, he wanted to know how much had changed from canon, and the best way to do that was to simply let certain canon things happen, and then observe whatever changes occurred.

"Very well. We do have a C-rank mission for you; it involves escorting and guarding a client on his way through the Land of Waves. Send him in!"

Tazuna swaggered into the room, a jug of sake in his hand. This was it; the beginning of the real action in the series. In spite of all the training I had, I was still really, really nervous; this mission had definitely been a difficult one, and had almost cost the lives of the original Team Seven multiple times. If I wasn't ready for something like this, I could easily screw things up for everyone, even get them—or myself—killed. Looking back on that mission, I was right to be worried; I had yet to truly find a specialty, or anything that set me apart from the average redshirt ninja. Naruto brought spontaneity and a knack for trickery, while Sasuke was a highly skilled prodigy with a powerful kekkei genkai. I, on the other hand, was still just some guy who fell into this world. True, I had lived in this one from the physical age of five, gone through the academy, and had a bijuu sealed within me (not that Yoko ever actually spoke to me since that day—no matter how much I tried, I never really heard a peep out of him). But even so, I still felt almost entirely unprepared for this. And while I obviously survived the mission, I still got some pretty serious scars from it—and not the physical kind, either...

* * *

 _ **Yup, it's the start of THAT arc. The Mist Couple will be making an appearance, but while there will definitely be familiar scenes, expect some curveballs all the same. And yes, I did write that song myself—those lyrics are all mine. :)**_

 _ **As always, feel free to review and critique!**_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** **_Holy shit, do I really have over 20 faves and more than 30 follows?! I still can't believe that so many people like my writing! Hell, I even have more REVIEWS than I have ever gotten. Holy shit. I'm so insanely flattered by all of you! Thanks a bunch!_**

 _ **I don't own Naruto. If I did, Lee would have been even more badass. Wait, never mind—that's impossible. XD**_

* * *

Tazuna was just as much an ass as he was in canon; as we began the escort, he made plenty of rude comments that made me seriously want to punch the old drunk right in the jaw. Fortunately for his face, I was too busy worrying about the coming trouble. The canon mission was bad enough, but the possibility of divergence from canon due to my presence could easily make things worse.

Compounding my worry was Yoko's conspicuous silence. The only reason he helped me at all was self-preservation, and even then it was only possible because he had time to react. A surprise attack would make it difficult for him to give me his power in time, which meant I would have to rely on the rest of the team to save me... or rely on my own skill—which was another thing I was worried about.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Keiji-nii?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm just nervous is all. This is the first time we've had to actually protect someone. What if a fight happens and we're not ready?"

Naru-nii looked at me for a bit; he knew that when I said "We", I really meant "I". He was full of confidence—his natural state. I, on the other hand, was still unsure of my place in the Team—and my place in this world.

 _Dammit, if only I could tell you the truth. I hate lying to you..._

Suddenly, two bladed chains whipped out of the bushes, wrapped around Kakashi-sensei, and apparently tore him to pieces.

 _Shit! It's starting!_

"Well well, what have we here, brother? Konoha must be short on proper ninja!"

"It sure looks that way, brother! How foolish, to send kids to guard the old man. Let's show them what real ninja can do!"

I remembered what had happened in canon clearly—Naru-nii freezes up in fear as Sasuke deals with the enemy on his own, and Sasuke gives a snarky remark that pisses Naruto off. That remark did motivate Naruto to grow stronger so he wouldn't make that mistake again, but at the same time it established his relationship with Sasuke as one of competition and rivalry as opposed to a true friendship. I saw him start to freeze up, and acted fast.

"Get back, jii-san! Naru-nii, let's teach these guys what 'kids' can do!"

That seemed to have an effect, as Naruto shook himself out of his fear and grabbed his kunai. Sasuke had already flash-stepped in preparation to ambush them, but if we acted fast, we could participate in the fight and earn his respect.

Tazuna dove for cover as the Demon Brothers charged at us; Naru-nii and I flash-stepped toward them in turn, then performed our usual trick of dropping down and sliding under their flash-step. As they sailed over our heads, we leapt at their backs to flank them... only to have our blows parried.

 _Well, at least we distracted them from Tazuna. Where the hell is Sasuke?_

"These kids are more clever than we gave them credit, brother!"

"True, brother. But being clever still won't save them from us!"

They swung their chained gauntlets, sending their trademark weapon flying toward us. We dodged at the last second... only for one of their kunai to nick me in the shoulder. I shrugged it off, but unfortunately, one thing I didn't count on that changed from canon occurred: Naru-nii got distracted by my injury, taking his eyes off his target for a split second.

"Keiji-nii!"

The two Kiri-nin took advantage of the opening, and once again sent their chain at us. It was at that moment that Sasuke finally made his move, launching a flying kick to the back of one, knocking him off course and making the chain miss our heads by inches before sending a shuriken at the other one.

"Ugh! You'll pay for that, you brat!"

"No he won't. You'll be too dead to do anything about it."

Before either of the Demon Brothers could react, Kakashi-sensei struck from the opposite direction, trapping them in between him and Sasuke. Naru-nii and I threw kunai at them in the same moment; the two assassins couldn't dodge the kunai and defend against both Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei at the same time. As the kunai hit them in the back, The Uchiha and the jounin finished them off with their own weapons.

 _That's teamwork, bitches... wait, why is my vision blurryoh right, the poison._

Before the others could catch their breath, I started to collapse, clutching my shoulder.

"Keiji-nii! What's the matter?"

"Kiri-nin poison their weapons. If we don't bleed the wound..."

Before Kakashi-sensei could finish his sentence, I followed Naruto's canon example and stabbed myself in the shoulder with my own kunai. I didn't stab too deeply, though—I remembered his mistake on that, and I wasn't keen on risking bleeding out.

"NNGH! Damn, that hurts..."

Sasuke looked on from where he stood, before giving a smirk at me and Naru-nii. "Hunh, not bad. And here I thought I'd have to carry this whole team."

 _Okay, backhanded compliment aside, we just got some minor respect from Uchiha. At least something went right..._

"Are you gonna be okay, Keiji-nii?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine, just sore..."

I then noticed the look of worry on Naru-nii's face, and realized something—we nearly died because my injury distracted him.

 _My presence on this team with him could get him killed if I don't get stronger. I have to get stronger..._

"Okay, Tazuna-san, would you mind telling us the truth concerning this assignment?"

"W-what do you mean?"

Kakashi-sensei narrowed his eyes at the old man. "Those were the Demon Brothers—fairly infamous assassination specialists from Kirigakure. We were lead to believe you simply wanted protection from bandits and highwaymen, and we prepared for that. But we did NOT prepare for this level of mission; if these guys were any indication of the true threat facing you, I'd go so far as to classify this a B-rank mission. These kids are not ready for that. So if you don't want to get EVERYONE here killed, you included, you need to start being honest with us. Now."

Tazuna paused for a moment, then began spilling the beans.

"Fine. I guess I can't hide it any longer. There's a man named Gatou in the Land of Waves; he's very rich, and VERY influential. He managed to set up a shipping monopoly there, which basically means he's the only person anyone can do business with, and can charge people anything he likes. In short, he's got the whole land under his heel and is shaking us down for everything we have. The Land of Waves is isolated from the mainland, but if someone were to build a bridge connecting it with Fire..."

Kakashi-sensei nodded, getting it. "You'd have trade flow that he wouldn't be able to stop without provoking the full attention of Konoha, and potentially all of Fire."

"Exactly. Unfortunately, that means he'll do anything to stop such a bridge from being built... which makes me public enemy number one in his eyes. Even if we got extra builders on hand, I'm the only person in the whole Land of Waves who can actually design and supervise the construction of such a bridge; without me, it'll never happen."

Kakashi-sensei sighed heavily. "Well, I would prefer to return to the village and request backup... but that would leave you undefended, and your deception aside, Konoha doesn't abandon a mission. But from now on, you do EXACTLY as we tell you, when we tell you, without question or complaint. And you do NOT leave our sight until the mission is complete, or until we figure out a way to get Gatou off your back. Is that clear?"

Tazuna replied nervously. "Crystal..."

* * *

We made it to Tazuna's home without further incident; even so, the events of that day still bothered me. In spite of the fact that we won (as well as the fact that I helped Naru-nii win Sasuke's respect), the fact remained that my presence was a distraction that could cost the lives of the others if I didn't improve myself. I had yet to find a specialization to set myself apart from other ninja, and if I was to get stronger, that would have to come first—if I found something I excelled at, I could focus on that and improve my effectiveness and worth to the Team. As such, I tried to consider everything I knew about the other main characters and their skillsets. I looked for a place where I could be alone with my thoughts, eventually finding a small room in the house. Once I was alone, I lighted a small lamp, then picked up Motoko and began playing quietly to myself; music helped me think, and I had a lot of thinking to do.

 _Okay, let's see. Sakura is on her own team, so I don't know their specialty, but at least she has some skill in medicine, as well as near encyclopedic knowledge on how ninja work and operate. Kurenai's team utilizes Kiba and Akamaru's heightened senses, Hinata's Byakugan, and Shino's bugs to make them highly effective trackers and sensors, while Asuma's team focuses on utilizing the coordination and teamwork of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio to create an effective all-purpose group. Gai's team are the ultimate combat physical combat specialization unit, featuring Neji's Byakugan-enhanced pressure point techniques, Tenten's weapon mastery, and Lee's insane brute-force style. That leaves our team, which in canon were a mixed bag that had a good deal of flexibility. Sasuke brings the power with his mastery of various jutsu, Naru-nii has a great balance of speed and power thanks to his bijuu... which leaves me. What can I do? How do I set myself apart?_

All of a sudden, I heard footsteps behind me. I whipped around to see Sasuke standing in the doorway; he had his usual stone face on.

"So this is where you are. What are you doing sitting alone? Writing another song?"

This was more than Sasuke had spoken in casual conversation with me since we first met at the academy. A good sign.

"No... just thinking."

"About what?"

I wasn't sure about sharing my problems with him, though; he had the single most devastating backstory out of all the main characters, and my troubles were nothing compared to his. I was afraid I would seem like a whiner in comparison. But something about the situation loosened my tongue.

"I feel weak... you may not realize it, but Naru-nii is a lot stronger than he appears. I mean, he's seriously got the potential to be really great. And you're an Uchiha, so amazing power and skill is something that just kind of comes natural to you. Together, the two of you could easily be among the best ninja in the village one day. Me, though..."

I looked at my bandaged shoulder. "I feel like I'm holding everyone back. Like if I slip up one time, it could cost me and everyone else their lives. How the hell am I supposed to catch up?"

Sasuke's gaze drifted to Motoko.

"That song you played for us a while back. The one about not being in control... is that feeling what inspired it?"

"...Yeah. But before, the only consequence of being powerless was that I just sort of drifted aimlessly through life. Now, though, the safety of other people is at stake. I don't want to hold other people back, or just watch as everyone passes me by. I'm just not strong enough..."

The Uchiha paused for a good while. He turned to the door and started to leave, but stopped for a moment, speaking without turning around to look at me.

"You're not the only one. I don't feel nearly as amazing as you say; if I were, maybe what happened to..."

His words drifted off. I knew exactly what he was about to reference. He turned his head to look at me.

"But I don't intend to stay that way. I'm going to get stronger. And if you just sit around wondering about it, you won't get anywhere. The only way to improve is to keep moving."

I looked back at him, then turned my attention to the lantern. Then, all of a sudden, those last two words he said hit me like a freight train: "Keep moving." That was what the team was missing! That was what I could bring to the table! That was something I could focus on! Sasuke brought power, Naru-nii had balance. It was so obvious now. Power, balance... and speed. I had always been good at flash-stepping; it was my favorite aspect of ninja training, and the whole "surprise slide dodge" trick that Naru-nii and I did was my idea to begin with. I could think of a good number of things I could do with insane speed—and it would make me unique enough to be an asset to the team.

"I think I know what to do now... thanks for listening, Sasuke-kun."

The honorific must have caught him off guard for some reason, because his eyes widened a bit at the sentence. For a moment, he looked like he was about to say something... but the Uchiha instead shut his mouth, then turned back toward the door and left the room, closing the door behind him and leaving me alone with my thoughts. I still wasn't sure how I could train my speed while having to stick close to Tazuna and the others, but neither would I stand still. No matter what, come hell or high water, I wasn't going to let the team down. I would find a way. I did find one, but it certainly wasn't easy—especially with all the worst of the mission still to come...

* * *

 _ **With so much good going for Sasuke's relationship with Keiji and Naruto, some bad is sure to happen to screw it all up, right? Well, not in this arc! I'm still setting things up for the future. But don't expect things to keep going swimmingly forever—like I said in the end note in an earlier chapter, I believe in earning a happy ending, that happy endings are more satisfying when the characters have to struggle and endure plenty of heartache and tragedy before it's over. And there will definitely be that in this story, in time. But don't worry—in the end, the characters' perseverance in the face of all the shit they have to go through will pay off. And in the end, I hope you'll be just as happy as they will be. As always, leave reviews if you can, and I'll see you next time!**_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** **_Want to know what happened during all the big timeskips in the previous chapters? Then read my new side story, "Nowhere Slowly"_** — ** _it's a series of drabbles and oneshots covering the many misadventures of Keiji and Company over the years! Featuring humorous moments, heartwarming moments, tearjerking moments, and much, much more!_**

 _ **I don't own Naruto. If I did, Kabuto would not have lived nearly as long as he did.**_

* * *

The next day went without any incident; things were actually going pretty well for once. Even so, I had a seriously bad feeling in my gut, like I forgot something important, but I couldn't put my finger on it. In any case, I still had to figure out a way to practice my speed, and the only way I could think of would be to ask Kakashi-sensei for help. If anyone could come up with a way to train while guarding someone, it would be him.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

The jounin was leaning against a post outside the house.

"Good morning, Keiji. Do you need something?"

"Do you know of any advanced flash-step techniques?"

He cocked his head at the question.

"I'm guessing you have a reason for asking me that. Does it have to do with the fight yesterday?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I wasn't fast enough to get out of the way of that kunai. I bet those guys aren't the only dangerous ninja we'll be fighting on this mission; I've always been good at those techniques, and I want to get faster."

"Well, that's going to be difficult to do when we're guarding Tazuna. But I think I might know something. How much do you know of how flash-step works?"

I scratched my head, trying to remember the specifics from the academy. "Er, I think it's about focusing chakra into your legs and the soles of your feet to increase the muscle power of your legs to help launch you at high speeds, while also creating a small cushion of air beneath your feet to reduce friction. For further distance and greater speed, you need more chakra, right?"

Kakashi nodded. "Good. I see you payed attention in the academy. But just using the most obvious applications of techniques doesn't always cut it out in the field. Sometimes, you need to get creative in order to get ahead. For example..."

He walked out into the front yard, beckoning me to follow him, then pointed to a small tree on the edge of the yard.

"Here's a little challenge for you that might help. See that? I want you to hit that tree without moving from this spot, and without using kunai or shuriken."

"What does this have to do with flash-stepping or speed?"

"That's for you to figure out on your own, Keiji. I have a patrol shift now; you can guard this area while you train. Have fun!"

 _Seriously? Why not just tell me to sand the floor and paint the fence, Mr. Miyagi?_

Before I could say anything else, he flash-stepped away himself, leaving me to practice alone. Believe me, I tried my damndest to figure out the riddle. I knew it had to do with weaponizing the flash-step somehow, and that figuring that out would probably give me extra insight into how the basic technique worked that I could use as well. But try as I might, I couldn't think of the answer. By nightfall, I still hadn't figured it out, and I went inside, disheartened at my lack of progress. After dinner, I prepared to go to sleep in preparation for my next shift. I had just gone to Tazuna's room where all the others were sleeping and laid down on my bedroll when I had a sudden, frightening realization—I HAD forgotten something important after all.

 _Wait. In canon, the team didn't go straight from the Demon Brothers to Tazuna's house; they encountered Zabuza, fought him, and THEN went to his house! So why haven't we seen him yet? What changed?_

The thought really frightened me, for obvious reasons. Zabuza was one of the most dangerous foes in the earlier part of the series; a pro assassin like him wouldn't stop chasing his target just because a couple of his minions lost. Hell, they lost in the series in much the same way they did this time around. Never before had "peace and quiet" terrified me so. Then I had another, equally terrifying realization:

 _Wait. There was one major difference yesterday: we coordinated a whole lot better in the fight than the team did in canon, partially as a result of me shaking Naru-nii out of his fear. Would that be enough to make Zabuza think we were more efficient than he thought, and make him decide to wait until later to attack? If so, the best time for him to make his move would be..._

"Shit! ShitshitshitshitSHIT!"

Yup, that pretty much summed it all up perfectly. I ran as fast as I could to find Kakashi-sensei, who was currently on his shift. Problem was, how would I warn him without giving away my prior knowledge of what was to come? It turned out I didn't have to explain much. Normally I would add "fortunately" to the previous sentence.

This was absolutely NOT one of those times.

"Ah. It looks like the old man's bodyguards are more than slightly competent after all. And here I thought I was being quiet!"

Zabuza was climbing through a window... and was directly between me and the hallway toward the front door, where Kakashi was outside on guard. It took me everything I had not to completely freak out at being trapped by one of the single scariest opponents in the early episodes of the series.

"The others aren't too far away, you know. I only have to scream and—"

"You'd be dead before you even made a sound, kid—not that keeping quiet will save you. Nothing personal kid, but I'm going to have to take your life."

Before either of us could move, a blur slammed into Zabuza and sent him flying through the wall to the outside.

"Kakashi-sensei!"

The jounin didn't take his eye off his enemy as he spoke quickly and authoritatively. "Keiji! Wake up the others and get Tazuna out of here, now!"

"But—"

"THAT'S AN ORDER, HARUTANI!"

When your boss yells at you by your last name, it generally means that everyone is in big trouble. In spite of Kakashi's orders, I knew from canon that he was going to have a tough time of it initially, and that in canon the team had to help save him—and right now canon had already taken a pretty serious detour. This was no time to abandon him and risk getting an important character killed too early. So I ran to where the others were—but not to get Tazuna out.

"Naru-nii! Sasuke-kun! Wake up, we're under attack!"

Both of my teammates quickly got out of their bedrolls and to their feet. Sasuke immediately moved toward Tazuna, who was in a state of mild panic. "Come on, old man. We need to get you out of here!"

I knew better; Haku was almost certainly nearby and waiting for us to take our charge outside and in the open where he could kill him. But I couldn't tell the others that.

"No! Uh, I mean, I think he'll be safer indoors—if the other guy has backup, they'll be waiting outside. Besides, Kakashi-sensei needs our help!"

Naru-nii and Sasuke paused for a few seconds, then both nodded in agreement. The Uchiha looked back toward Tazuna. "Change of plans. Stay in this room and lock the door. Don't leave the room, and don't open the door for anyone!"

We rushed to our leader's aid, and found both ninja locked in combat. Just in time, too—The fight was going more or less as canon had it, with Kakashi-sensei suddenly finding himself trapped by the water prison. The jounin turned to us, sharingan flaring.

"I thought I told you to take Tazuna and run! This one is too much for you!"

"Sorry to say this, but they won't get far. Feel free to watch your kids die!"

Zabuza created a water clone, which immediately charged at the three of us; we barely managed to dodge his attack. Naruto created several shadow-clones, and Sasuke readied his best jutsu. The best I could do was raise a kunai—and that only served to remind me of how out-of-place I was among the other two members of the team. As we began to fight the clone, I remembered something from canon—the water prison technique couldn't be sustained if Zabuza got hit while using it. Unfortunately, we were a good deal away from him, and the best we could do was defend against the clone.

 _Dammit, how the hell do we hit him from here? Think! Wait..._

Yeah, this was the very kind of situation where solving the riddle would help. Naru-nii and Sasuke could try to use the fake shuriken trick from canon, but they would need more space in which to ready it. And this wasn't the wide-open area from canon; this was a small front yard surrounded by trees and a small lake. There wasn't any way they could pull out the shuriken and throw it at this close range in this small an area without the clone killing them!

I dodged a sword slash by inches, and felt the wind from the sheer force and speed of the swing—and that's when inspiration struck me. Flash-step used chakra to increase the speed at which your legs moved so that they pushed off the ground with greater force, while also forcing air beneath your feet. But what if you did that with your arm and fist? If you made a punch move fast enough...

 _Well, it's worth a shot._

Dodging strategically to place myself and the clone directly between me and the real Zabuza, I focused all my chakra into my right arm and hand, thrusting it out toward the clone. The clone got out of the way... and to the surprise of everyone, a small shockwave of air shot past it toward the real Zabuza.

Evidently, this technique wasn't something he had seen before, because the missing kiri-nin got hit by it, freeing Kakashi-sensei from the water prison. As Kakashi began his counterattack, Naru-nii and Sasuke finished off the distracted clone and turned to me.

"Keiji-nii, what was that? I barely saw your fist move!"

"I have to admit, that WAS kind of cool."

 _Okay, the two main characters just called me awesome. If we weren't in the middle of a fight, I would so be geeking out at thatokay, now Kakashi's doing his epic sharingan thing against Zabuza. Geeking out now._

"Holy shit! Did you SEE that?! That was so awesome!"

"Okay, maybe not as cool as him."

The fight finished off the same as canon: Kakashi-sensei kicks ass, Haku shows up and fakes Zabuza's death, Kakashi collapses from exhaustion, then we take him inside and he talks about his suspicion of Zabuza still being alive and how we need to train more. What interested me was that I now knew something extra about flash-step that I could use—the sheer speed of motion using that technique could be used in more ways than just movement.

Kakashi-sensei started to tell us the whole "spider-man tree climb" thing that he taught the team in canon, but before we began to train it, the jounin took me aside.

"You seem to have figured out the test from yesterday. The question is, do you want to take this further?"

There was only one correct answer here. "Absolutely!"

"Well, then I have something for you. I don't exactly like using these things for training—it reminds me too much of someone I really, really dislike."

You have never seen such eye-rolling. He took out a storage scroll, and with a puff of smoke revealed its contents.

"But, on the other hand, even I have to admit they can sometimes be pretty useful."

On the scroll were four metal bracelet-like objects. I almost immediately put together what they were for.

"Wear these weights as you practice the climbing technique with the others; it should help with your speed."

I never thought I would be so happy to torture myself with that kind of training. But I also knew that this would be the first step towards making myself a true asset to the team, and considering what was to come, I knew I would need all the training I could get in the short amount of time we had. Naru-nii and Sasuke were working hard to get better; if I was to catch up to them, I would have to work even harder. In the end, it was worth it, and in more ways than one...

* * *

 _ **Yes, I know, I completely suck at writing action scenes. I must have written and re-written this about ten times, but I didn't know how to make this work without rushing through it like that; my focus was on trying to develop Keiji's attempts to grow stronger, and I couldn't think of any other way to keep that in focus. Hopefully you'll forgive such a weak and poorly-written chapter, and hopefully I will get better at this kind of thing as time goes on. Especially since this arc has a lot more fighting left!**_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** **_Hey, wanna see what happened during the many timeskips in the earlier chapters? Check out the companion series to this one, Nowhere Slowly! It has drabbles and oneshots covering the many years Keiji and company spent growing up together in Konoha!_**

 _ **I don't own Naruto. If I did, I wouldn't be about to start the funny "if I did" remarks over, as of the next chapter.**_

* * *

As it turned out, the weights weren't TREMENDOUSLY heavy like I thought they would be. Clearly, these were not the same level as the ones Lee wore; even so, they did give a good amount of resistance to movement as I practiced. Not enough to make my legs and arms feel like jelly after training, but enough to give me a much harder workout than usual. Especially when trying the "tree walking" thing Kakashi-sensei had us all doing. The three of us—Naru-nii, Sasuke, and me—took shifts between training and guarding. Two would train for a while, then one would break off to guard Tazuna, and so on. It wasn't easy to keep track of our progress when we had to constantly break to take our shifts. Despite all of the limitations and frustrations involved, I was actually kind of grateful for the extra training—I had decided to dedicate myself to becoming the fastest ninja alive, and in the process make myself a vital member of Team Seven as opposed to some average guy who got pulled into this world.

 _Once we get this mission over with, the Chunin exams won't be far off; in that case, I'll definitely have to step up the weight or increase my training in some other way, or I'll never catch up._

"Hey, Keiji-nii—"

"What is iiiiiiIIIT!"

That was me, falling off the side of the tree and right onto my ass, waving my arms in a comical fashion as I did so.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Naru-nii..."

 _I'd be even better if you hadn't distracted me!_

"Good! Anyways, Kakashi-sensei wanted me to tell you it's getting dark and we need to go inside."

Indeed, the sun was descending behind the treetops and already creating a very picturesque sunset. I hadn't noticed it, or really noticed any passage of time at all, because I had been so focused on my training. I almost worried I'd end up with bushy eyebrows and a love of green clothes if I kept up that level of focus. Fortunately for my fashion sense, the one thing that could pull me away from the training aside from the blues was dinner—especially considering it was Naru-nii's turn to cook. Which meant only one thing.

"Ramen again? Do you know how to cook anything else, dobe?"

"Hey, my cooking is great! Besides, why would I need to cook anything else, teme?"

The two main characters still used those names for each other. In the series, it was an indication of how little they really got along; now, though, they used the words the same way people would use nicknames. There was still a bit of rudeness and competition in their tones as they said the words, but it was clear that the nature of their relationship was shaping up entirely differently from canon.

 _Wow, I'm on a roll here! I guess the Third was wrong when he said actively messing with canon could cause problems._

Oh, how I wish I hadn't tempted fate with that thought. But that problem didn't come until a good while later. At the moment, we were all more or less in high spirits.

"I have to admit, as limited as Naruto's culinary range is, he's actually quite good at cooking."

"I got a lot of practice. Keiji-nii and I lived on our own, so..."

High spirits that had just vanished into introspective depression thanks to Debbie Downer-sensei. Way to go, scarecrow.

 _Sacrificing myself on the altar of dignity in three, two, one..._

"Hey, be grateful not to have tasted MY cooking yet. He got all the practice he did because if I had cooked for us, we would have died ages ago from the taste alone!"

"So what you're saying is, when you claimed to be too sick to cook whenever your turn came up, you were lying through your teeth?"

Kakashi's deadpan made the room utterly silent... before causing all present to break into laughter. All in all, things were looking up, in spite of the danger of the mission.

"Who are you idiots?"

And once again, high spirits gone, this time due to the entrance of Inari, Tazuna's grandson and yet another orphan in the series. Not to belittle his situation, but that seemed to be a fairly common problem in the Narutoverse.

"Ah, let me introduce you all to my grandson. Inari, these are the Konoha-nin assigned to protect me. They might not look like much, but they're pretty tough customers!"

 _Why, thank you for the backhanded compliment, you drunk old man._

Kakashi-sensei waved, smiling with his eye. "That we are! Don't worry, your grandfather is safe with us!"

"Hmph. Like you guys have a chance against Gatou."

"A chance?! We're ninja! We eat guys like him for breakfast, right, Keiji-nii?"

"You said it, Naru-nii! Just let us do our jobs and this'll all be over before you know it!

I knew from the series what Inari went through, but all the same I shared Naru-nii's enthusiasm. After all, the mission ended successfully in canon, and that was with Sasuke and Naruto bickering half the time. This time around, the whole team was better coordinated, and I had already come up with a signature move of my own, so it only followed that things would go even better than canon.

Yeah, I tempted fate twice that night. And fate, being a total bitch, decided to pay me back double for it. But again, more on that later. Back to Inari.

"You're idiots, you know that? No one can stop Gatou. You'll all die and nothing will change."

 _Tragic backstory or not, kid, your tone isn't helping my urge to slap you. But I'm adult enough to hold back._

"What did you say?!"

 _I'll leave the slapping to Naru-nii._

"You heard me!"

"Inari, don't aggravate them!"

"Naruto, no killing our client's family."

As Kakashi-sensei held Naruto back by the collar with one hand(while still recovering from the last fight. Yes, he's awesome), Sasuke turned to me with an eyebrow, pointing at my struggling adoptive brother.

"Has he always been like this?"

"You get used to it." I turned to look at Inari; here was another life that depended on our success. And another one whose rage came from feeling powerless. But instead of becoming obsessed with power, as Sasuke did in canon, or giving up on having it altogether as I had before I came here, this kid raged against anyone who seemed to have it, or claimed to have it. Same problem, different reactions, all causing problems of their own. But it all came down to the same solution.

Someone who cared.

Naru-nii stopped struggling for a moment; once again, he saw someone in pain, just as he did with me and Sasuke; his response was the same as it always had been, even in canon: to reach out.

"Look, I think I get why you're saying all this. You lost someone you cared about, right? Someone important to you?"

"What would you know about that, idiot!"

"More than you think! Heck, at least you HAD someone. For the first five years of my life, I was alone, everyone in the whole village hated me, and I had no idea why. But I didn't just cry about it. I tried to look for help, to look for friends, and guess what? I managed to FIND friends. Three amazing friends, and two of them are right here!"

Naruto gestured to me and Sasuke. The Uchiha turned his head, but from where I sat I could see that he didn't exactly mind being counted as Naru-nii's friend.

"If you want to sit around and call people idiots, don't be surprised if nothing changes. But we're not going to just cry and whine about things; we're going to protect your grandpa, we're going stop this Gatou guy, and we're going to make him pay for all the people he hurt. That's a promise!"

Inari shut his mouth, looking at Naru-nii. The kid tried to hide it, but for a second I almost swore I detected a bit of hope in his eyes before he turned around and walked quietly out of the room. The Uzumaki method of therapy, ladies and gentlemen. Don't ask me how it works; it just does.

The next day, we continued our training while continuing to guard Tazuna. During one of his training sessions, Naru-nii rested in the nearby woods and evidently encountered Haku minus the mask, because he told me about meeting a weird guy who was, and I quote, "girlier than Sakura". This news prompted me to step up my training a bit—because I knew that the very next day would be the big fight on the bridge. As much confidence as I had for the coming battle, I knew that it would still be a brutal one.

* * *

The morning of the fight was a quiet one. I did my best to hide my nervousness, but fortunately no one noticed. As per canon, Naru-nii stayed behind to rest from his own training while the rest of us went with Tazuna to help guard him as he finished the bridge.

 _This is it. The real test. I have to be ready. No turning back now..._

Upon reaching the bridge, we found all of the workers slaughtered, a thick mist settling over the area. Kakashi-sensei immediately barked orders.

"Harutani, Uchiha, close formation around Tazuna!"

Taking out our kunai, the three of us stood in a circle around Tazuna with our backs to him, looking for any sign of movement. All of a sudden, a pool of water began to form under our feet; realizing what it was, Kakashi-sensei shoved the rest of us out of the way and immediately slew the Zabuza water clone before it could completely form. More clones appeared in response as a familiar voice filled the air.

"We meet again, Kakashi of the Mirror Eye. Like what I did with the place?"

"Unless you'd like to come out from wherever you're hiding and fight us yourself, Zabuza, we have nothing to say to you. Team Seven, take them down, quickly!"

To the missing Kiri-nin's surprise, Sasuke and I managed to deal with his clones without much effort. Mostly because the more clones one makes, the less effective they become, but considering that an experienced jounin-level ninja like Zabuza would already know that, he must have underestimated us; our improved skill, however slight due to the short amount of time we had to train, almost certainly took him by surprise, a suspicion that was confirmed by what he did next.

"Well, looks like your brats are tougher than I thought. I suppose I can grant your request, Kakashi."

The heavy mist parted briefly, revealing Zabuza right behind our sensei, ready to chop his head off. Kakashi-sensei leapt backward out of the way with ease, facing his enemy.

"You won't have it nearly as easy as last time, Zabuza. These 'brats' and I outnumber you!"

"Hmm, that IS problem. Fortunately, I brought a solution. Haku, entertain them while I deal with their teacher!"

"As you wish."

Sasuke and I dodged quickly as shards of ice flew towards our position, missing us by a fraction. The other half of the Mist Couple approached us with eerie calm, taking his own kunai out and launching himself at us.

 _Holy hell, this guy IS fast. But in the series, he was shocked that Sasuke could keep up with him... and now he's fighting two Konoha-nin who can do it!_

My reaction time had improved along with my attack and movement speed, enough for me to catch a quick reaction of surprise through the eye-slits of his mask as I parried a blow and attempted to counterattack with a slash of my kunai. He managed to dodge that without much trouble, but Sasuke was right on him, forcing the effeminate assassin to keep moving as he continually struck and retreated, probing our defenses for any sign of an opening.

"I must confess, I did not expect to meet one enemy who could keep up with me, let alone two."

Sasuke gave one of his best condescending smirks, along with his patented "you're so fucking beneath me it's almost sad" chuckle. "I take it you're giving up, then?"

 _Ohhhh man, here it comes. Playtime is officially over..._

A massive dome of ice mirrors formed around us, trapping us inside as Haku's image formed in all of them.

"Not so much."

Any illusions I had about my improving speed and reaction time were shattered completely by Haku's signature jutsu. I could barely SEE him, let alone dodge the constant barrage of senbon. Sasuke was only doing marginally better due to his sharingan, and even he took some nasty hits just as I did. The only consolation I had was the knowledge of how much chakra that technique used, and the fact that Haku would get progressively slower the longer he kept it up.

 _That's assuming we survive long enough to take advantage of it... and even then, we've taken hits and he hasn't gotten so much as a scratch on him!_

"Okay, I'm getting a little irritated here. Any ideas, Sasuke-kun?"

"Not at the moment. The best we can do is to somehow outlast him!"

"Great strategy, Uchiha—but we're going to need something better than that to survive this!"

You ever get a shot and have the needle go off-course and hit a muscle instead of the vein? Yeah, take that and multiply it by a hundred and you'll get the idea of just how much just one of those senbon hurt. If it weren't for the adrenaline rush, I probably would have been speaking in nothing but a long, nonstop string of every conceivable variation on the word "fuck". Then, just when I thought we were dead, guess who shows up to save the day.

"Sasuke! Keiji-nii!"

Da-tada-TAAA! Main character to the rescue! Naru-nii's surprise attack forced Haku to stop his assault briefly to open the dome and trap him as well. It was at that point I noticed something; he added a few extra mirrors for when Naru-nii came in, thus expanding the dome. The amount of pressure this would put on him might slow him down faster...

"Well, looks like I should start taking you all seriously."

...or force him to really put on the pressure. It was at this point that I finally, completely, and truly felt the sheer scale of the kind of danger Naruto and company dealt with on a regular basis in canon—and even with all my training, it was still absolutely staggering. How the hell did they even remotely survive this? And more importantly, why did I ever think I was capable of surviving it with them?

"Keiji-nii! Look at me!"

"Huh?"

"Remember what I said to Inari the other night? We. Will. Survive this! "

I stared at him, seeing the look in his eyes. I understood—THAT'S how they did it. That's what truly made Naru-nii so strong, what got the main characters through all the horrors they faced. Skill played a huge part, but when it came down to it, what set them apart from what I was doing was one very specific quality: determination. Pure, raw determination. Not overconfidence, or faith in victory; merely the recognition that winning was the only option, and that short of having all of their limbs torn off, they would NOT stop until they succeeded, or died trying. Period.

That moment our eyes connected lasted only a split-second, but that split-second changed everything for me from that point on in my life. I wasn't going to run. I wasn't going to constantly worry that my skill wasn't enough, that I might bring the others down. I was going to work my ass off to face whatever lay in front of me, and tear through it with everything I had. It was either that, or watch the people I cared about die—and come hell or high water, I would not let that happen. Not as long as I lived.

I took a deep breath, and steeled myself. "You're right, Naru-nii! Sasuke-kun, let's finish this!"

I couldn't see Haku's expression behind that mask. But his body language spoke a thousand words: he was against the wall, and he needed to finish us off quickly. Suddenly, all of the mirrors shattered into millions of razor-sharp pieces, which swirled around us, reflecting light as they did so. This was going to hurt... but short of death, it wouldn't stop us.

"Secret Jutsu... One Thousand Frozen Blades."

The swirling cloud of mirror shards flew at us, forcing us to leap out of the way. We barely managed to dodge it, getting several nasty cuts in the process, but all the same we kept our guard up. The real problem was that we still couldn't see Haku—was he still in those shards, as small as they were? Or was he elsewhere, directing them at us? In any case, attacking him directly would be futile, so we elected to continue dodging as best we could, hoping that what was obviously a last-ditch technique would drain Haku before he could kill us with it.

That's when the real attack came.

From behind.

Blood spattered on my cheek.

A body fell.

Not Haku's.

Not Sasuke's.

Not mine.

* * *

 _ **Yes, a cliffhanger. Hate me after the conclusion!**_


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** **_Once again, thanks a bunch to my good friend Rainsfere for his excellent suggestions and reviews. They've got some good stories themselves; look them up if you get the chance!_**

 _ **I don't own Naruto.**_ _ **If I did, I wouldn't have let Sasuke off so easy, rabid fangirl hate or no. On second thought, I'll leave him alone, I'm not suicidal.**_

* * *

"No... please, no..."

Naru-nii was on the ground, multiple senbon piercing him in the neck and chest. Of all the ways in which canon could diverge, this was the one thing that I had never once considered happening. Haku had been controlling the cloud of ice shards from an ice mirror that had formed on the ground behind us, the only one that didn't shatter when he started his new attack. Once we focused on the mass of deadly blades of ice, he struck from behind... and Naru-nii leapt in the way of the attack to save me and Sasuke. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

"Naru-nii..."

He was bleeding. A lot.

"Naru-nii..."

Not moving or breathing.

"NARU-NII!"

I screamed. Everything had gone wrong. For all my training, things still went wrong independent of anything I could do. All of a sudden, I could no longer think straight. I didn't know what I was doing, or what was going on; all I knew was that I wanted Haku DEAD. I felt nothing but rage. Everything went blue; I vaguely heard shouting from SOMEONE calling my name, but I was too focused on my enemy.

 _Kill him. Shred him. Hurt him. Cut his heart out._

I felt something in my head, but I didn't register it at first. The only thing that mattered to me was blood.

 _Maul him. Kill him. Tear out his throat. Rip him to pieces._

 _ **Kit, stop it!**_

 _Bite him. Slash him. Make him pay._

 _ **When the fuck did I give you permission to use my power?**_

 _Tear him. Gut him._

 _ **Dammit, kit, you're going to get us BOTH killed!**_

"KEIJI-KUN, STOP!"

 _Kill—wait... Keiji-KUN?_

"Keiji-kun, it's over! He's dead, we've won! You can stop now!"

The blue faded. My mind came back to me. I regained consciousness, finding myself standing over Haku's beaten, battered corpse. His mask had been shattered; Both his arms were broken in several places, his face and torso were covered in massive gashes, and scorch marks covered most of his body. Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke stood in front me; The former was kneeling by Naru-nii's body, while the latter had his hands on my shoulders. He was the one who called my name.

"What... what happened? What did I do?"

I looked down at my hands; bony claws were receding from the tips of my fingers as small flashes of lightning arced between them briefly before dissipating. Then I remembered what happened in the series: Sasuke got hit with senbon all over his body, causing Naruto to inadvertently access Kurama's chakra and go berserk. Except this time, it happened to me.

Then I remembered something else.

"Naru-nii!"

I ran to where he lay, still unmoving, and checked his pulse.

He was still alive. But why? I thought about it for a moment before realizing the answer:

 _Now I remember. In canon, Haku deliberately avoided killing Sasuke for some reason. Considering that and the fact that he and Naruto had a heart-to-heart the day before, of course he wouldn't kill Naru-nii either..._

"Is he going to be okay?"

Kakashi-sensei nodded. "Yeah, I think so..."

I looked toward the end of the bridge; a veritable mountain of corpses lay there, with Zabuza's body on the top of the pile.

"Is he..."

Sasuke sat down beside me. "Yes. He's dead. Gatou and all his men are dead as well. It's okay, Keiji-kun... it's over."

I cried. I tried to stop myself, but I just couldn't; it was all too much. Especially when Naru-nii woke up.

"Keiji-nii... are you... okay?"

 _Idiot. Why the fuck are you worried about ME? You're the one who could have died..._

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine, Naru-nii. I'm going to be okay..."

* * *

We met up back at Tazuna's house after the battle to recover. Once we were rested up, Kakashi-sensei ordered everyone but Naru-nii, Sasuke, and me out of the room. He walked over to me and looked me in the eye; his voice was firm, but there was definitely some concern in his tone.

"Harutani. I know this may not be the best time for you, considering what you just went through, but I still need to ask. What was that back there?"

I looked at him, then at Sasuke; the latter had an unreadable expression on his face. It worried me; in the series, he didn't see what Naru-nii did, and only found out about the Kyuubi after he defected. Now, though, he had seen me go into berserk-demon-fox mode, and he was inevitably going to have to be let in on the whole jinchuuriki deal. Would this ruin what progress I had made? Was he going to see me and Naru-nii as threats rather than teammates from now on?

"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei. I can't tell you."

"And why not?"

"You'll have to ask the Third. He ordered Naru-nii and I to stay quiet about our... condition. You already know about his," I said, pointing to Naruto. "But if you want to know about my situation, I can't say anything unless the Third okays it. Again, I'm sorry I can't tell you anything."

Kakashi paused for a bit, then nodded. He clearly didn't like being kept in the dark—who would?—but he also understood that the Third didn't keep secrets without a damn good reason. "Very well. We'll deal with that during the debriefing when we get back to the village."

Sasuke still had that guarded look; I couldn't let this ruin things. I had to say something.

"Sasuke-kun... don't be mad at me. I hate lying to my friends, and so does Naru-nii. Hell, he probably would have gone against the orders to stay quiet if he didn't think you would be scared of us if we told you."

The Uchiha said nothing. He kept looking at me for a while before turning away.

"Hmph. Don't be stupid. You and dobe helped us win the fight. Why should I be scared of someone who's on our side?"

It wasn't the same as admitting friendship—but I also knew he wouldn't openly admit that anyway. I still wasn't sure whether or not this incident set things back, but at least he was honest about not being scared of us, and that was a good thing in my book. I turned to Kakashi-sensei again.

"Could you... tell me what I did? I wasn't exactly one hundred percent conscious when... IT happened."

"It was incredible, to be honest. I'd never seen anything like it. You were moving so fast even I could barely see you at all. About the only thing I COULD make out was that you were giving off lightning all over the place; with all the mist, it only made the lightning that much more powerful due to the water hanging in the air. I was worried we couldn't get close to you without getting hit... until Uchiha called your name. That seemed to calm you down enough to approach you without getting shocked."

Naru-nii looked very confused, crossing his arms and tilting his head quizzically. "Lightning? Why would he be causing that?"

Kakashi-sensei looked at Naruto with a raised eyebrow. "It's his affinity. Didn't you learn about that at the academy?"

If not for the tense atmosphere, I would have laughed at that question.

 _Of course he didn't. He could barely stay awake in class unless it involved actively learning jutsu—theory in particular always bored him to tears._

"Affinity? What's that?"

 _Yup, that's Naru-nii for you._

Kakashi-sensei sighed heavily. "All jutsu are based around one of five elements; Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, and Lightning. Anyone can use any jutsu from any of those, but everyone has one particular element that they are more attuned to than the others, and thus are far more powerful when they use jutsu based on that element. That's what an affinity is. Harutani's affinity is lightning—as if that weren't obvious from today's events. And as far as his focus on trying to get faster, it's actually pretty appropriate. One common application of lightning jutsu is enhancing speed and reaction time."

I paused at that. As concerned as I still was about the whole "bijuu berserk mode" thing, I still remembered the promise I made to myself that day when Naru-nii saved us, and I also understood that his injuries didn't happen because I lacked skill. But I also knew that things were only going to get more difficult from here on out, and I would still need to work hard to keep up. I already knew plenty of basic jutsu, but until now I didn't know what my affinity was; now that I did, I could improve my skill further, even learn a few new tricks to add to my repertoire. And best of all, both Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei were lightning users, which meant I would have a much easier time training with my affinity. Naru-nii got most of his best skills through experimentation on his own, but he really took off once he met Jiraiya; a good instructor made a lot of difference. And training with Sasuke would give me even more opportunities to keep him away from the dark side. This was an opportunity I couldn't afford to miss out on.

"Could you teach me some of that?"

The jounin looked at me and smiled with his eye. "I suppose I could. It won't be easy, though. The Chunin Exams are coming soon, and if you want to compete, you're going to need some pretty harsh training."

"Chunin Exams? What're those?"

"Seriously, dobe?"

"Bite me, teme."

* * *

In the end, the Third told both Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke the whole deal about Yoko; he left out the "fictional characters" part, for obvious reasons. Both ninja took it pretty well; Kakashi-sensei already knew about Naru-nii, so him accepting the situation was understandable. Sasuke was a different story—I was honestly worried he'd feel powerless compared to Naru-nii and I again, but in retrospect half of that was his misunderstanding the source of Naru-nii's power. The idea of the "dead last" surpassing him with seemingly little effort made him more willing to go along with Orochimaru's offer of power; but now that he knew that Naruto and I had the advantage of being a jinchuuriki, he would be less likely to compare our progress with his own and think he was just lagging.

After they left, the Third took me aside in private. I wasn't sure what he was going to say, but I did have an inkling. He sat down at his desk, taking his pipe out of his mouth and blowing a puff of smoke before speaking calmly and directly.

"Well, I'll get straight to the point. I know you've been trying to change the future by focusing on befriending Sasuke. Don't try to deny it."

I sighed in defeat. Just as I thought. "Yeah, I knew I wouldn't be able to get anything past you. Are you going to punish me for it?"

"Actually... no. In fact, I want you to keep it up."

This response surprised me. Had he reconsidered his stance?

"I know that you've been trying to avoid doing anything too drastic, and have been trying to have as little an impact on what happened in the story you know outside of trying to befriend a teammate. Technically, this went against my direct orders; as I told you before, I felt that interfering without thinking could cause unpredictable changes that would take away our ability to adapt to the coming storm, and I stand by my decision to tell you not to interfere with the story. But things are different now than they were when I made that decision, and trying to keep up with diverging events is now more or less impossible. The changes that have occurred so far have been almost entirely unpredictable, and that includes certain things that you had no ability to actively interfere in."

"Such as?"

"Danzo."

We both went completely silent. That was the last name I needed or wanted to hear.

"Somehow, he suspects that you know more about this world than you should, and as much as I have tried to protect you from him, I fear he may try to make some sort of move. I doubt he knows much about what will happen during the exams, but he has always been skilled at changing his plans on the fly to incorporate new developments, and he will undoubtedly pick up on Orochimaru's presence long before anyone else. In that case, I'm positive the two will attempt to make some sort of deal, which would mean potentially terrible things for everyone—especially you and Sasuke. In light of that, I want you to do everything in your power to continue bridging the gap between Sasuke and Naruto. That is our best chance of averting disaster here. As far as other canon events, you still need to avoid interfering—but I may make other exceptions as things progress. For now, just focus on your training and keeping the last Uchiha in the light."

I nodded and smiled. I still didn't like the idea of letting other things happen, but I still understood the reasoning behind it. The Danzo part in particular still scared the shit out of me—Orochimaru was bad enough, but the thought of TWO ruthless and manipulative bastards teaming up like that was, frankly, terrifying beyond belief. Even so, I wouldn't let that stop me. No matter what, I wouldn't let Sasuke go rogue if I could help it. The Zabuza mission may have been over, but the real battle was just beginning...

* * *

 _ **Well, this story arc is over. Next time, we start building up to the Chunin exams. I might take a short break from this fic to work on others, but make no mistake, this won't go dead, and I'll still occasionally post to the companion fic "Nowhere Slowly" to tide you guys over until the beginning of the next arc. I'll see you then, and thanks so much for your continued support!**_


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** **_I'm going to start doing something slightly different from here on out. For the most part, this fic will still be from Keiji's point of view, but it will occasionally switch to other POVs as needed. In the meantime, I will alternate between updating this and my most recent fic, The New Gamemaster, with the occasional Nowhere Slowly entry. I've hit a wellspring of inspiration and I don't want to waste it._**

 _ **I do not own Naruto. If I did, I would be living in a mansion somewhere tropical.**_

* * *

"MMMMM! Sweet, sweet Ichiraku ramen, how I missed you!"

Yes, this was indeed the first thing we did upon leaving the Hokage's office after our return to Konoha. Kakashi-sensei wasn't present at the moment, leaving Naru-nii, Sasuke-kun, and myself to enjoy the extra pay we got for the mission. As we dug in, I noticed Sasuke-kun watching us pack it away.

"Well, now I know why you guys cram so much food down without getting fat."

"Why's that?"

"You're both eating for two."

Naru-nii and I both looked down at our bellies before getting it; perplexed, my adoptive brother stared at the Uchiha.

"Keiji-nii, did teme just make a joke?"

"I think he did, Naru-nii. Is the apocalypse far behind?"

The broody genin huffed in his usual manner. "I make plenty of jokes. You guys just aren't around for them is all."

That lead to a few chuckles all around, Sasuke-kun included. I was about to take in another mouthful of noodles when I noticed a distant expression on the Uchiha's face—and not a good one.

"What's wrong, Sasuke-kun?"

"Remember when you said you were worried about catching up to me and dobe? Well, now it looks like I'll be playing catch-up to you two..."

This wasn't good. This kind of thing was a huge reason for his eventual defection; fortunately, I knew just how to head it off at the pass.

"Not exactly. At least YOU can say that everything you're capable of is because of YOUR hard work. Naru-nii and I have a handicap, and based on the events of the mission... it's not one we have control over. I don't ever intend to use that unless I absolutely have to..."

"Same here, Keiji-nii. To be honest, it's kind of scary."

"So what you're both saying is you're going to hold yourselves back for my sake?"

"Of course not! We just want to see what WE can do. We don't want to get ahead while always wondering if it was only because we had... extra tenants. I want to see what I can do with MY power and MY skill."

"Keiji-nii is right. Bad attitude aside, teme, you completely outclass us when it comes to skill and power. You don't know how much I really hate saying this, but without our handicap, we wouldn't stand a chance against you."

This definitely had a positive effect on Sasuke-kun, who smirked in his usual arrogant manner. _The best way to an Uchiha's heart is his ego, apparently._

After we finished eating, Naru-nii and I walked home together. Though I was exited about the chunin exams, I still remembered the old man's words of warning concerning Danzo. But that wasn't my only concern.

"So about the exams... Are you really ready for them?"

Naruto looked at me with a confused expression. I decided to clarify.

"I mean, we'll have to fight some of our friends. Kiba and Lee have always been nice to us, and we might end up getting matched against them at some point. I don't know if I can hit a friend..."

Naru-nii scrunched his face up in thought for a bit before replying. "Hey, Kiba's probably thinking about that too, and Lee'd probably feel insulted if we didn't use 'all the power of our youth' on him."

His impression of the green-clad genin was flawless, and we both nearly tripped over our own feet in laughter. Leave it to Naruto to lighten any mood.

* * *

Danzo sat on the balcony of his home, calmly sipping tea in the moonlight. He didn't react as a slender shape crawled up the wall behind him.

"I see you received my message."

"It wasn't entirely difficult to figure out. Bodies leave trails after all. I do hope that wasn't one of your more important pawns. Not that it will matter in a few minutes..."

"You don't want to be killing me just yet, traitor."

"And why is that?"

Without a sound or a word, three intimidating-looking ninja with expressionless faces surrounded the figure, knives to his throat. Danzo didn't even deign to turn around, instead calmly sipping his tea as if nothing had happened.

"Did you truly think you could have slipped into Konoha without me noticing it? I could have had you killed the instant you set foot back into this village; I could even have you killed here and now, with ease. No one would know you were ever here. That would put a stop to your planning, now wouldn't it?"

The intruder hissed in frustration as the ninja vanished. "Fine. I suppose I can listen for now. I am curious as to why someone so very loyal to Konoha such as yourself would be willing to even speak with a 'traitor' like me."

Danzo still didn't turn to face the man. "You seem to be mistaken as to the nature of this conversation. This is not a deal, nor an alliance, but an order. Did you truly believe that you could escape your obligations to Konoha simply by betraying it? The roots of the tree travel deeper and farther than you can fathom, and even now you are hopelessly tangled in them. We are born for Konoha, we live for Konoha, and we die for Konoha. You are a fool to think you are any different."

The sheer condescension in that tone, combined with the words themselves, absolutely infuriated Danzo's guest. This was a humiliation beyond anything he could think of.

"I am NOT a tool to be used and thrown aside—"

"That is PRECISELY what you are, traitor. It is what ALL of us are. And you will go along with it regardless, because if you do not you will never have what you are so obviously after."

"The Uchiha. Do you truly think you can protect him from me?"

"No. In fact, you are going to do to him what you attempted to do with Mitarashi Anko—which I am almost certain was your plan anyway. But once that is complete, you will focus your attention on another."

"And who would that be?"

"Harutani Keiji. A genin who has befriended the Uchiha. I highly doubt your chosen target would take your offer so long as such an influence were present."

"Interesting. But that doesn't answer the question of what YOU get out of it."

"Unlike you, I am no craven opportunist. I will simply give Konoha the weapon it requires. KONOHA will profit from this; you will not. You have no freedom, Orochimaru. You have no choice in the matter. You are a traitor, and you deserve a traitor's death. But even a traitor is a useful asset, and once this is done, you WILL be executed for your treason, as you would have been had that weakling Hiruzen not allowed you to leave. But not until you have exhausted every last ounce of your usefulness to this village. An appropriate punishment for one such as you, is it not? To be made into nothing more than a simple pawn before being tossed in the trash where you belong."

The Snake Sannin's expression was twisted into pure hatred. Had circumstances been different, he would have ripped the man's head off in his rage. But Orochimaru, for all his arrogance, was no fool.

"Very well. I will play your little game, Danzo. But make no mistake—if anyone here is going to die, it will be you. I WAS going to give you and all the other council members relatively quick deaths, but rest assured, I will take my time making you suffer for this humiliation. Count on it!"

The traitor vanished from sight. Danzo had not turned around for the entire conversation. "Has it been done?"

One of the ninja reappeared. "Yes, master." The ROOT leader smiled at the empty syringe in his agent's hand.

"Thus always to traitors."

* * *

"Hey Keiji! How'd the mission go?"

I turned from what I was doing to see Kiba standing behind me, Akamaru riding on his head.

"Rough. It was a lot worse than we were lead to believe. At least jii-san paid us extra as compensation..."

He was about to reply when he looked around in slight confusion. "So... you gonna be a lumberjack in your spare time?"

He was referring to the many damaged tree trunks in the clearing on the outskirts of the village where I had been practicing.

"Yeah, it's good honest work for decent pay. What do you think I'm doing? I'm training."

The Inuzuka smiled wolfishly. "Gettin' ready for the Chunin exams, huh? If you're tryin' to work out some new tricks, don't get too cocky—Akamaru and I've been workin' on a few of our own. Don't worry, we won't peek if you won't. Tell Naruto I said hi!"

I waved to him as he turned to leave before going back to what I was doing. I'd been thinking about my affinity and how I could apply it to the shockwave punch I used against Zabuza in our first encounter; the technique I had used then was unique only in the method used. There were plenty of wind jutsu that did the same thing. But if I were to combine it with a lightning jutsu, I would have a versatile skill that made up for a key weakness to a large number of lightning techniques: the lack of kinetic impact.

Virtually ALL offensive lightning techniques were energy attacks, and a skilled ninja would be able to defend against that. But the notion of a lightning strike that struck for physical damage as well would add another layer to the technique, making it harder to defend against. Even chidori was technically entirely energy-based—rather than actually punching through your target, it burned a hole through it with the sheer amount of energy concentrated onto a single point. That technique also had the disadvantage of being strictly close-combat. This new technique of mine wouldn't have anywhere near the power of chidori, but it would make up for it in versatility and relatively low chakra usage, and in the meantime I would be able to keep my distance and use my speed to dodge while sending constant barrages of it at my enemy. Not that much of a game-changer, but definitely useful to have, and something I could certainly build off of in the future.

That said, I also wanted to learn actual lightning jutsu, and fortunately Kakashi-sensei had promised to train me and Sasuke-kun together on that. It would certainly provide plenty of opportunity to be an emotional anchor for the Uchiha and thus keep him from going bad like he did in the series. That said, Yoko was still a problem, and one I decided to deal with now rather than later. Hopefully the events of the mission would make him a little more willing to talk than he had been in the past. I sat down to meditate, focusing on the seal...

* * *

 _ **Well, well, well, look who came to visit his prisoner.**_

Once again, I was in the dank sewer where Yoko was caged. I looked the Kyuubi clone straight in the eyes as I spoke in a calm, measured tone.

"I'm going to cut to the chase. You're going to stay out of my head, you're not going to use your chakra with mine unless I call on you, and when I do you're going to give me the exact amount of power I ask for, and no more than that."

 _ **Geheheheh. Interesting prediction, kit. Why should I do anything you say?**_

I smiled at him before resuming my talk.

"Because this is MY mind we're in. So I figure I could probably make this place look like anything I wanted to, and you can't do a damn thing about it. I COULD make this place a lot more comfortable for you, but that depends on how well you cooperate, doesn't it?"

 _ **Well, kit, you seem to have me backed into a corner here. By the way, if you can make this place look like anything, why not make yourself look your real ageGAAAAUGH!**_

I had just made a gigantic pile of garbage appear right in front of his cage. To say that it stank would be a huge understatement, but to Yoko's heightened sense of smell, it was TORTURE.

"See, that's the kind of thing I don't like. I'm not an idiot; I know that was obviously an attempt at psychological warfare on me, trying to cause some form of identity crisis. Well, I solved that one ages ago; Casey Kendall is 44 years old, and he's definitely a part of me, but as far as I'm concerned, my name is Harutani Keiji, and Keiji is 14. I'm aware of my real age, and I'm not under any illusions about it. But Keiji is who I am now, and so that's how I look here. You should've known better than to try that, considering you've been sharing headspace with me for nine years. Now like I said before, if you DO behave, I can make this place look a lot nicer. But again, that all depends on you."

Yoko glared at me. It was clear he hated my guts right now, but at the same time he seemed almost impressed at my attitude.

 _ **Fine. I'll play along. But don't mistake me for a slave, kit.**_

"Good to hear."

I woke up from my meditation with a smile on my face. Things were going well; with that problem out of the way, I was free to focus on the other things. I told myself that Danzo and Orochimaru wouldn't know what hit them; I wish I hadn't tempted fate, because it led to one of the worst mistakes I ever made, one that nearly killed everyone I was trying to protect, one that nearly killed me and even threatened my very soul...

* * *

 _ **Short chapter, I know, but considering it's the setup to a new story arc I think it's understandable. Rainsfere pointed out that Danzo would never actually make a deal with Orochimaru, but fortunately I think I found a way to make things happen the way I need them to without him going OOC on that. Orochimaru is a shifty bastard himself, and Danzo has absolutely made himself public enemy number one in his mind, right next to the Third. Expect plenty of surprises this story arc!**_


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** **_Sorry for the delay—I've been busy writing a research paper IRL in addition to working on my most recent SI fic on the side (It's called "the New Gamemaster"— **i** f you ever played Nintendo games of any kind, hopefully you'll like it). I may also be a bit too reliant on input from Rainsfere to the point where I was afraid to post without input from them. I've got to get over that crutch if I want to improve, I suppose. Also, HUGE thanks to S'TarKan and their UNBELIEVABLY AMAZING fanfic, Team 8, for giving me an idea on the initial stage of the test that is really just me shamelessly stealing from that fic because I seriously have crap writing skills in comparison with their genius (seriously, why the heck are you still reading my crap when you could be reading Team 8? Go check it out, pronto). With that out of the way..._**

 _ **I own nothing of Naruto. If I did, I wouldn't be doing these copyright disclaimers.**_

* * *

Training under Kakashi-sensei to master lightning jutsu was intense, but ended up giving Sasuke-kun and me a few new tricks to use in the future. But Naru-nii wasn't being neglected—due to his Wind affinity, Kakashi-sensei couldn't give him the same regimen as us, but fortunately our ultra-badass leader gave him a few extra taijutsu lessons, smoothing out the rough parts of Naru-nii's fighting style to make him that much more effective.

That's not to say Kakashi-sensei didn't think we were already good enough for the exams, though; he had put forward our applications practically the day we got back from the mission. This was just some extra instruction—something that Naru-nii never would have normally agreed to. Fortunately for my adoptive brother, the surest way to get him to learn something is to either (a) promise ramen afterward, or (b) not-so-subtly claim that a Hokage would DEFINITELY be able to do that, no sweat. It was a combination of the two that ended up getting him off his rear and in gear.

About a week after we started training, the exams officially began. We entered the academy building to get to the room where the first phase would take place, only to find a very familiar scene playing out—the genjutsu test.

"Just give up, why don't you? None of you have what it takes, anyway!"

"Yeah! Run home while you still can!"

Thanks to my knowledge of the series, I knew perfectly well that the two "genin" were really Chunin in disguise. That did not, in any way, lessen the temptation to punch their lights out. Fortunately, as in canon, Sasuke-kun saw right through the illusion.

"If you two don't mind, we're headed to the THIRD floor, so drop the genjutsu."

The bandana-wearing "genin"—Izumo, if I remembered right—smirked at that.

"So, you noticed the illusion, huh?"

The Uchiha smirked right back, his voice positively dripping with his usual practiced condescension.

"Either you suck at genjutsu, or this is the REAL first test. I'm guessing it's the latter—wouldn't you agree, Keiji-kun?"

"Yeah, there's no way those two are genin based on how they just knocked Lee off his feet," I said, pointing to the green-clad genin on the ground. "After all, out of everyone in the academy, he was always the best at taijutsu. Even teach was kinda freaked out by him in the academy. I hear he's even got a jounin instructor now who specializes in that area, so the idea that a genin could just casually take him down is pretty stupid."

The two immediately dropped the genjutsu AND the henge, surprising most of the room. "Well, well, well. Looks like this year's crop is smarter than they look. Fine, get going."

We went up the stairs to the third floor, passing through the gym area on our way to the classroom where the exam was—only for a second canon event to show itself.

"Uchiha Sasuke, I challenge you to a fight!"

Yup, Rock Lee.

Sasuke-kun turned to face the eyebrow genin. "Really? Here and now? We have an exam, you know..."

"This will not take long, I assure you! Now will you, or will you not face me in combat?"

The Uchiha smiled; this was his chance to show off the tricks he learned from Kakashi-sensei. I was actually curious as to whether or not this fight would go as it did in canon—after all, in the series, Sasuke only got the training AFTER the preliminary fighting tourney. This time, while he didn't yet have the chidori, he did have some of the basic foundations for it—as well as some extra taijutsu training.

"Sure, I guess I can humor you. Keiji-kun said you were the best at taijutsu in the academy, and I do seem to recall something similar. Let's put that to the test, shall we?"

Sasuke-kun launched himself at Lee, who dodged the incoming punch expertly, countering with a spinning back kick. The first sign of divergence from canon was that Sasuke managed to dodge the blow rather than get sent flying by it.

"You're fast, I'll give you that..."

"I am much more than fast, Uchiha Sasuke!"

The two became a virtual blur of motion; Naru-nii and I watched in amazement. It's one thing seeing it in the series, it's another thing entirely to see it in person.

 _He's already difficult to follow, and he hasn't even taken his weights off. I kind of want to fight him to see if I could keep up, too..._

Lee finally landed a leaf hurricane kick, but Sasuke-kun blocked it and went with the momentum, flipping back onto his hands before launching himself back at Lee feet-first. Lee spun out of the way, then seamlessly shifted into a crouch before delivering a powerful uppercut to Sasuke-kun before the latter could dodge, launching him into the air. I had to resist the urge to shout "Shoryuuken!"

 _Here it comes... let's see the lotus!_

Lee flash-stepped into primary lotus position, ready to use his signature move, only for Sasuke-kun to twist around in midair and knock Lee back to the ground with a powerful kick to the gut. Both landed on their feet, ready to continue the fight, when a voice interrupted them.

"LEE! THAT'S ENOUGH!"

To say the voice had more ham than a hog farm would be the understatement of the century. There was zero mistaking who this was. Standing in the doorway was none other than Eyebrows Sr., the infamous Might Gai.

"Lee, I specifically told you not to reveal your strength until the preliminaries! TIME FOR YOUR PUNISHMEEEEEEENT!"

This time I had to resist shouting "Falcon Punch". The blow sent Lee flying off his feet and onto his back. Gai approached his student, kneeling before him.

"I'm sorry, Lee, but that was for your own good. The fires of your youthful spirit burn hot indeed, but they burn too wildly!"

Lee looked up at his master with reverential tears in his eyes.

"Oh, Gai-sensei, forgive your foolish apprentice!"

Gai looked back with tears in his eyes as well. "It's okay, you don't have to say any more!"

The two embraced.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

As long as I live I will NEVER forget just how bizarre that scene looked. Hell, I almost SAW the sunset and crashing waves! I mean, how the fuck does THAT work?!

"I can't believe this freak kept up with me..."

"Yeah..."

* * *

After that embarrassing moment, we made our way to the exam room where all the applicants gathered. Naru-nii was the first to react.

"Wow, all these people here... who knew there'd be so many people trying out?"

"SASUKE-KUN, I KNEW YOU'D COME!"

A certain blonde kunoichi threw herself onto the Uchiha before he could react. "Wha—"

"Oh, don't tell me you don't remember me from the academy, Sasuke-kun! Yamanaka Ino, the most beautiful kunoichi in the village?"

"Ugh, how troublesome..."

Shikamaru approached behind her, rolling his eyes. Choji wasn't far behind, quietly gorging himself on a bag of potato chips. The bored genius sighed. "Seriously, Ino, can you not avoid making a scene for one second?"

"Hey, who asked you, Shikamaru-kun? Besides, I bet Sasuke-kun couldn't wait to see me again, right?"

"HANDS OFF SASUKE-KUN, INO-PIG!"

 _Hoo, boy. Catfight incoming._

Ino turned to face Sakura, who was flanked by two kunoichi I had not seen before. I heard she had been assigned to an all-girl team, but I didn't know anything more than that. As the two rivals screeched at each other, I looked over the newcomers; one was a brunette with two long ponytails, two shortswords in crossed sheaths on her back. The other had short, wavy ginger hair; she didn't have any obvious weapons on her, but the bracers on her wrists seemed more than decorative. Both seemed exasperated at their teammate's actions... until they both saw me, at which point they practically launched themselves in my direction.

"Wow, you're cute!"

"Uhh... thanks?"

The brunette smiled broadly. "Oh, wow, even his voice is dreamy! I'm Toriyama Aki, but you can call me Aki-chan!"

The ginger brashly knocked her aside. "Don't bother with my sister, good-looking! Toriyama Tsugumi is the only woman you need!"

I did my best to avoid recoiling in awkward fear from the two, who began bickering themselves.

 _Oh, come ON! This isn't going to turn into a harem series, is it? Besides, I'm really 44, I really don't want this kind of attention!_

"Wow, Keiji-kun, never thought I'd see YOU get that popular!"

Kiba approached with Shino and Hinata at his side. Hinata blushed upon seeing Naru-nii, then nervously gazed at her feet.

"Heya, Kiba-kun! Ready for the exams?"

The Inuzuka gave Naru-nii a toothy grin. "Heh! I oughtta be askin' you the same question! This ain't exactly ninjaball we're talkin' about!"

"You guys might want to keep it down. You're disturbing the other contestants."

We all turned to see one of the last people I wanted to encounter.

"Yakushi Kabuto, at your service. If you want any chance of surviving this, you ought to pay attention to me. I've taken this seven times already, so I know this whole thing back to front."

This was NOT someone I wanted us to deal with. After Sasuke-kun and Naru-nii had a brief chat with him, I waited until Orochimaru's mole was out of earshot before turning to my teammates. I couldn't tell them anything outright, but that didn't mean I couldn't warn them in other ways.

"Guys, I don't think we ought to put too much trust in that one..."

"Aww, why not, Keiji-nii? He seems nice enough..."

"It's just... I got a bad feeling about that one. Something about how friendly he is despite being both a stranger AND our competition doesn't seem right. Sure, he gave us info on some of the other competitors, but nothing that would really help us."

The two furrowed their brows in brief thought; Sasuke-kun was the first to speak. "Hmm... are you sure about that? It does seem a bit fishy, but it could just be paranoia talking."

I shook my head. "I know it looks that way, but trust me, something's not right with him. I can't put my finger on it, but he gives me a real bad feeling. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to be suspicious of people we don't know—these exams are probably pretty brutal, and we can't afford to let our guard down."

Naru-nii frowned, still not quite buying it. His trusting nature may be one of his best traits, but damn if it isn't also one of his biggest weaknesses. Thankfully, he listens to me when it comes to this kind of thing.

Before anyone else could speak, the chunin instructors filed into the room along with the proctor from canon. "Alright, maggots, listen up! My name is Morino Ibiki, your proctor... and during this test, your worst nightmare!"

We were all instructed to sit apart from our teammates; once we did, the tests were passed out and the exam began. I already knew the real goal—find a way to cheat without getting caught. The problem for me was figuring out a way to do that. I then noticed Kankuro, one of Gaara's fellow sand-nin, getting up to go to the bathroom... which gave me an idea. I managed to get permission to go to the bathroom myself, then hid in a stall and waited until I was alone before setting my plan into motion.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

Two shadow clones popped into existence before leaving through the window, heading for the library. I knew from the series that shadow clones transferred their memories to the user upon dispersion, so all they had to do was research the answers to the questions on the test before dispelling, thus giving me the answers. I returned to my seat and awaited their results; once I got them, I began writing the answers down. Upon finishing, I looked around to see if Naru-nii had figured out the riddle, unlike canon.

Nope. He was clutching his head in utter confusion. Some things never change. It's a good thing it ended up not mattering in the end...

* * *

The disguised snake sannin observed the bespectacled genin from his seat. _So that's the Harutani brat Danzo wanted me to focus on. He doesn't seem that special... but I'm not stupid. That bastard wouldn't be trying to manipulate me into killing him if the boy wasn't important somehow._

The wheels in Orochimaru's head were turning, considering the many possibilities. He was still seething over the humiliation of being made Danzo's pawn... but that didn't mean he was just going to let the old fool win.

 _What could you possibly gain from eliminating this child, Danzo? Unless... yes, that must be it. He's somehow a threat to your plans. You don't want me getting my hands on him... and yet you have no problem with me going after Uchiha Sasuke. Which means..._

He smiled evilly. A plan began to form in his head.

 _I see. He must be after Uchiha as well... and he plans to steal him out from under me, but he needs Harutani out of the way first, and at the same time wants to prevent me from acquiring Harutani. In that case, I'll just have to steal that brat, too. It shouldn't be hard to get a curse seal on both. This game has just begun... and in the end, I will be the victor!_

* * *

 _ **Let the creep-off commence! Next time, the Forest of Death! Also, no, there won't be any actual romance between Keiji and Sakura's teammates. I just like seeing him squirm, and the idea of a whole team of lovesick kunoichi stalkers was too funny to pass up.**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**I'm pretty sure this will irritate a lot of people who are following this fic, but I'm sorry to say that I'm abandoning it. Before you decide to stop following ME, let me explain.**_

 _ **This fic was my first venture into SI fanfiction, and the first time I had attempted anything beyond a few chapters. In addition to that, I had not seen the anime nor read the manga in years, which accounted for a lot of the problems with this fic. The biggest problem, however, was that I didn't really have any solid unifying idea for the story outside of "male SI without reincarnation". A story without a theme to hold it together is a story that meanders aimlessly and lacks a strong foundation to prevent plot holes.**_

 _ **That being said, writing this fic taught me a great deal about what to do and what NOT to do with writing; as a result, I have improved vastly since then. Will I ever return to Naruto fanfiction? Maybe. Will I redo this fic? I honestly don't know. But if I do, it will almost certainly be virtually unrecognizable. There are just too many problems with it, and in the meantime I have a couple of other fics currently going on that I am more invested in (not to mention they're evidence of how much I've improved)**_ _ **:**_

 **The New Gamemaster** _ **– Basically, this was me starting to learn from the mistakes of Nowhere Fast. Imagine Kingdom Hearts, but minus the Keyblades and with Nintendo instead of Disney. If you've ever played Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, Sonic, Megaman, etc., you'll probably enjoy this one.**_

 **Call of the Force** **–** ** _This is the fic that I feel most confident about. It has a solid foundation, a theme that I've based it around, and a few twists on and deviations from the general SI formula to keep it interesting. If you like Star Wars, check it out._**

 **Cole's New Perspective** – **_A heartwarming family fluff Pokemon story with themes of adoption and healing. If you want to see a genuinely heartwarming tale of a child being raised by Pokemon and being generally adorable, feel free to give it a look._**

 _ **Again, sorry if you liked Nowhere Fast. But (sorry for the pun) it was going nowhere, fast. I hope you don't hold a grudge against me for abandoning it, and I hope you'll give my other stuff a fair chance.**_

 _ **Again, sorry. ~CoGDork**_


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